


100 Words A Day IV: The Quest for Peace

by E350tb



Series: 100 Words A Day [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gravity Falls Fusion, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War II, promo spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-06-11 09:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 162
Words: 16,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15312855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: One hundred words a day, every day, until the show comes back. Diamond Hiatus Edition!





	1. Parent's Day

**Parents Day**

Connie sat awkwardly in the classroom as she waited for her 'chaperone' to turn up. Her teacher, Mr. Vought sneered at her.

"I see you've forgotten the basic conceit of Parent's Day, Maheswaran," he snapped, "Where is your _parent?_ "

"Mom and Dad are busy, sir," replied Connie, "But, I, uh... found a substitute?"

" _Clearly_ they know nothing about punctuality," sniffed Vought.

"Well, I _have_ been busy saving your planet."

Pearl was walking into the room, her spear in hand. She smirked as she sat next to Connie.

"So, you're Connie's English teacher? I've heard a _lot_ about you..."

Vought gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Call this an alternate ending to 'The Teacher.' :D


	2. An Unenviable Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg is given an enormous responsibility.

**An Unenviable Task**

"So, you were _Pink_ ," said Yellow Diamond sceptically, "Then you were _Rose_ , and now you're Steven? How did that happen?"

"Oh, that's easy," shrugged Steven, "Mom and Dad decided they wanted to have a kid, and that ended up being me!"

"And how exactly do you 'have a kid?'" demanded Yellow.

Steven swallowed.

"Um... well, you... _Dad! I need help!_ "

Greg emerged from the house.

"What is it, Stu-ball?"

"Tell me how you procured this _Steven_ from Pink's gem," snapped Yellow.

Greg blinked, his throat suddenly going dry.

"Uh... well... when a man and woman love each other _very much_..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't envy the person who has to explain human reproduction to the Diamonds, I really don't.


	3. The Roswell Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A UFO crashes in Roswell.

**The Roswell Incident**

_US ARMY AIR FORCE: CLASSIFIED REPORT, JUNE 20 1947_

_FOR PRESIDENT TRUMAN'S EYES ONLY_

Interrogation of the crew of the UFO that crashed June 14 has been completed. The crew identify as 'Rubies' and have hence been codenamed 'DOC', 'EYEBALL', 'LEGGY', 'ARMY' and 'NAVY' respectively. They are being transferred effective immediately to the facility at Groom Lake, henceforth 'AREA 51.'

Although the intelligence of the Rubies appears limited, it is recommended that non-violent interrogation continue to increase our understanding of 'gems' and 'Homeworld'. We recommend referring this matter to MJ12 as soon as possible.

Robert P. Patterson  
Secretary of War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you imagine some ultra-stoic MiB sorts trying to question Leggy?


	4. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven faces the most powerful of gems.

**Eyes**

Steven and Connie gazed up at White Diamond's eyes.

They were striking; two orbs, accented by eyeliner, in the middle a vast, brilliant white face. Her white irises stared into their souls, chilling Steven to his very core. He swallowed hard; this could be one of the most dangerous conversations of his life.

He took a deep breath. Connie reached out and squeezed his hand, giving him a supportive smile. They could do this - _together._

Emboldened, Steven found the courage to ask his question.

"Uh, White Diamond? Why are your eyes so much smaller than the rest of your face?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea shouldn't be funny to me, but it is.


	5. Darkness No Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cool Kids watch a trailer.

**Darkness No Parents**

Sour Cream put down the phone, frowning. Next to him, Jenny awkwardly coughed, while Buck remained as stoic as ever.

"Wow," said Sour Cream, "Adolescent Adventureres is a lot _darker_ than I remembered..."

"I don't get why Bobin's killing people," added Jenny, "Ain't he supposed to be Catman's sidekick? You know, with his 'no killing' thing?"

"Maybe it's a phase," mused Sour Cream, "Like, his teenage grunge thing. I mean, I went there..."

"Just feels like they took the complaints about 'Proceed' and just... went way to far," said Jenny.

Buck shrugged.

"Eh, I liked it," he said, "Fudge Catman."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the Titans trailer, which is so hilariously dark and edgy I honestly couldn't tell if it was a parody.


	6. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an exciting day for Ronaldo Fryman.

**Anticipation**

"Today's the day!"

Ronaldo sat at his computer, excitedly dancing in place. Peedee watched him in slight bemusement, wondering what 'the day' was - then it struck him.

"Comic Con, huh?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Ronaldo, "We're finally gonna get a release date for Koala Princess Season Thirteen! They'll reveal the Emporer Bunyip! The Drop Bear Army! The new designs for..."

"Or they won't," shrugged Peedee, "And you're just getting your hopes up."

"Only one way to find out!"

Ronaldo clicked the refresh button on the news website. When nothing appeared, he clicked it again, and again...

"Wow, Ronaldo," sighed Peedee, "Real exciting..."


	7. All From You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg watches Steven sleep.

**All From You**

Steven lay in his bed, fast asleep. Greg had insisted he be allowed to rest - he'd had a big day, even without the enormous Diamond battle. Connie lay next to him, and Greg sat by the bed, sleepily rubbing Cat Steven's head.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Greg looked up. Bismuth had climbed up the steps.

"Sure," shrugged Greg, yawning.

Bismuth sat down, avoiding his eyes.

"So... did Steven tell you..."

"Yeah," nodded Greg, "But he trusts you. That's good enough for me. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Bismuth smiled.

"Amethyst's right," she muttered, "He got it all from you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're now up to our first themed week, and I think it's gonna be Connie Week!


	8. The Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They said she couldn't do it.

**The Race**

They said it was impossible.

She was a freshman congresswoman from some backwater in Delmarva, they said. She was too young, her birth certificate must be faked - this mad story about 'healing tears' from her husband keeping her young had no place in the political discourse! Stuff and nonsense!

When she won the primary, they said she'd doomed her party. She was too radical, too willing to rock the boat. The distinguished conservative the other party had picked had it in the bag.

When President Connie Maheswaran was inaugurated that January, they suddenly had very little to say at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's laughin' now?


	9. Explaining Fusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie explains fusion to Peedee and Jeff.

**Explaining Fusion**

"So, fusion is like... you're half you and half Steven?" mused Peedee, "Like this?"

He pointed to the lunch tray that had been meticulously divided between peas and corn, as if the lunchlady had decided that never the twain should meet.

"Not really," Connie replied, " When we're fused, it's actually hard to tell what's 'me' and what's 'Steven' unless we really think about it," she explained.

"Cool!" said Jeff, "So when you unfuse, how do you know you're _you_ , and not just Steven's essence thinking he's you?"

Connie blinked.

"Probably better not to think about that," she said decisively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No existential crises at the lunch table, kids.


	10. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young Connie finds a priceless gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick, rather random AU idea.

**The Gift**

Doug had received it as a wedding gift. He found no use for the strange object and stowed it away in the cupboard to be forgotten.

Years later, his five year old daughter had come across it. It was pretty and shiny, and it made fun of the mean kids at school for her. It was a friend, and she came to love it.

One day, she dropped it, and it broke into pieces. This should have been a tragedy - but the small rock on the back lifted up...

Her name was Lapis Lazuli, and she would be Connie's protector.


	11. Empire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year is 1857.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another AU idea, although I have absolutely no plans to take it up.

**Empire**

1857\. The British East India Company rules India.

Connie's luckier than most. Her father's a lance-corporal in one of the Madras Native Infantry regiments, and they live reasonably well. She's made friends - there's a boy whose dad was 'volunteered' back in England, and they get on well.

But rebellion has broken out up in Bengal province. The town's new commander, Colonel White forces the boot down, and the people starve and suffer.

It is said that there is a hidden pink sword in the hills, and who wields it will defeat the British.

Imagine Connie's surprise when she finds it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Brain, I need villains nobody could possibly root for.  
> Brain: East India Company.  
> Me: Thanks.


	12. The Book Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie are forcibly removed from the Book Club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I _am_ making a commentary here!

**The Book Club**

Steven and Connie had been banned from the Library Book Club.

"I can't believe it!" snapped Connie, "They threw us out for shipping Archilisa! And it's _canon!_ But apparently a fantasy relationship between a witch and a talking falcon's _problematic!_ I mean..."

"They only really threw _me_ out," said Steven meekly, "You don't have to leave just because I'm..."

"Steven, do you really think I'd stick around after the stuff they called you?" demanded Connie, "You're the sweetest person I know! How _dare_ they call you a freak!"

She grinned.

"We can make our own club, at home. With Pearl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being in a Book Club with Pearl would be awesome though.


	13. The App

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Priyanka gets the internet bill.

**The App**

"Connie!"

Connie looked up as her mother stormed into her room, holding up the internet bill.

"Care to explain?" she demanded.

"Care to explain what?" asked Connie, titling her head.

"Someone," snapped Priyanka, "Has spent three hundred dollars _from my credit card_ on a tablet game called Breakfast Matcher!"

"Breakfast what now?"

"Connie, I'm not that dumb, I know you..."

" _Yes!_ I finally unlocked Pear! Only took me thirty premium coolers!"

Doug's voice echoed from downstairs.

Priyanka pursed her lips.

"Never mind," she said, "I'm sorry."

Connie shrugged and gave her a thumbs up as she left, fuming.

" ** _DOUGLAS MAHESWARAN!!!_** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's why Doug's not allowed to have a tablet anymore!


	14. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have gone wrong.

**Together**

Things had gone wrong, and they'd been left to pick up the pieces.

White Diamond had outplayed them; they'd been lucky to get off Homeworld with their lives. It didn't help that the Diamonds had closed ranks around her - or that she'd mind controlled the other Crystal Gems...

So here they were, Steven and Connie, returning alone.

Of course, that wasn't strictly true - they had Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis. They had a base. They had... the _beginnings_ of a plan.

Most importantly, they had each other. White could take anything she wanted, but she'd _never_ tear these Jam Buds apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I actually do have a plan to flesh out, although it's a bit vague and pie-in-the-sky right now, so... yeah.


	15. Attrition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homeworld needs troops.

**Attrition**

At Beta, quality didn't matter.

This Amethyst had come out off-colour, that Agate was too short, and none of them had been trained, but it didn't matter. Homeworld needed troops on the front and they needed them now.

As the finest of Beta's soldiers, Jasper initially tried to form a cohesive unit with her comrades. But half of her batch had been shattered by the end of their first battle. Within a month, only she and about two others were left - the rest of the unit were fresh reinforcements.

She stopped trying to learn about them. What was the point?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember reading that the average life expectancy for a Russian soldier at Stalingrad was about ninety seconds. It's a strange person who finds that sort of thing glorious.


	16. Sadie Doo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven's new idea for a Sadie Killer video isn't particularly original.

**Sadie Doo**

"I don't know about this," said Sadie.

She was standing in front of the camera, dressed in an orange turtleneck sweater. Next to her, Buck wore a white shirt and an ascot, Jenny was dressed in a purple outfit and green scarf, and Sour Cream wore a large green shirt.

"C'mon!" said Steven, "It'll work perfectly!"

"Reah, Radie!" exclaimed Amethyst, who had shapeshifted into a dog, "What's the worst thing that could _rappen?!_ "

"We get sued," Sadie replied flatly.

There was a knock at the door. Steven opened it - it was a blue-haired lawyer.

"I represent Hanna-Barbera," he said sternly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like they're getting...  
> ( •_•)  
> ( •_•)>⌐■-■  
> (⌐■_■)  
> ... _Scooby Sued._


	17. Gone For A Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Army has taken Steven.

**Gone For A Soldier**

The Press Gang had come.

They had left no stone unturned - it was the Christian duty of all able-bodied men, they said, to take up arms against the King. They broke down doors, dragged people from their families, and marched them away.

Pearl now stood alone atop the hill. Everything was gone - Parliament's Army had looted her house, grabbed  Greg and Steven and forced them into the army, all while chanting the Lord's Prayer.

Just another of the degradations this war had brought upon England.

And, she thought as she looked down at her sword, the last she would take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who might be confused as to the setting, this takes place in the 1640s, at the height of the English Civil Wars.


	18. Arr!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars gets into his role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The followin' fanfic be rated _AARRRR._

**Arr!**

"Avast!" exclaimed Lars, "Hard a starboard, Ms. Rutile!"

"Aye, Captain!" shouted Left-Rutile.

"Bringing her about!" repeated Right-Rutile.

"Come on, ye scurvy bilge rats, Emerald be gainin' on us!" thundered Lars, "Hoist the mainsail!"

"Batten down the hatches!" bellowed Steven.

"Run out the guns, you landlubbers!" cried Connie.

" _Arr_ , up on the mizzenmast!" boomed Lars, "Reef sails, reef sails!"

" _Mizzenmast?!_ " exclaimed Rhodonite, "What is that supposed to... what're you people talking about?"

"...it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day, Rhodes," shrugged Lars.

"We're roleplaying," added Steven.

Rhodonite shook her head wearily.

Padparadscha suddenly burst out from the engine room.

"Avast ye!"


	19. Diorama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Diamond has a grand design.

**Diorama**

White Diamond saw the cosmos as her grand diorama, each piece carefully arranges to create the most beautiful result.

On this grand table, she could perceive every gem. Her diamonds, their courts and underlings, carving the universe into a masterpiece. She could see the rebels - a small aberration, but she could deal with them.

It was _organics_ that annoyed her.

She couldn't see them in the same way she saw gems. They muddled through chaotic lives in chaotic societies, making such an awful _mess_ of things.

They were ruining her perfect order.

She'd just have to get rid of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically she's a perfectionist. :\


	20. The Thing In Doug's Basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stay out of the Maheswaran basement...

**The Thing in Doug's Basement**

People around the Maheswarans soon learned never to go into their basement. It was dark and cold; whenever you brought it up, Priyanka and Connie would quickly change the subject.

Pearl, unfortunately, had yet to learn this. She had just arrived to pick Connie up for sword practice, but she and her mother were running late from a doctor's appointment. He eyes fell upon the basement door. She crept inside.

She gasped as she found Doug, hunched over a table, fiddling with machinery. He smiled as he turned to face his guest.

"Hey Pearl! Do you wanna see my trains?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you've done it, Pearl - he's gonna be showing you those trains for hours.


	21. Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis finds a strange object.

**Soft**

Lapis dropped the artefact, shuddering. It landed hard on the bathroom floor.

She'd found the strange bauble in a crater near town. Curious, she brought it home, and had hidden in here while she worked out what it was. It had pulsed without warning - she wondered why.

How had she triggered it? Her only stray thought was of a plushie she'd seen earlier...

She emerged from the bathroom and froze.

Steven and Connie lay limply next to the warp pad, unmoving. They were small and soft, with beads for eyes. She glanced around - the other gems were similarly transformed.

"Oops."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She'd better hope she can change them back, because otherwise the theme song would be just Lapis on her own and that'd be a bit lame.
> 
> Next week is Peridot Week!


	22. Anchor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot feels lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Amedot Time!

**Anchor**

Peridot sat on the side of the train as it rolled through the countryside, resting her head on Amethyst's shoulder. She ran a hand through her soft, fluffy hair and smiled.

It felt like everything was changing at such a rapid pace, what with all the new allies and enemies the Crystal Gems had accumulated. It made her head spin and frustrated her to no end. It was as if she was being battered about by a storm.

But Amethyst? Amethyst didn't change. She was her rock right now, keeping her above water.

She was very lucky to have her.


	23. Is That A Weapon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, is it?

**Is That A Weapon?**

"Is that a weapon?"

"Yeah, the placard says it's an M1928 Thompson gun. I don't understand the human obsession with such... impersonal weapons. Give me a sword or a spear any day..."

"I see. Is that a weapon?"

"Yes, it's a knife of some kind. Hmm... 'sword bayonet.' Well that's just silly, why not just have a sword?"

"Mm-hmm. Is _that_ a weapon?"

" _Yes._ Says it's a Lee-Enfield rifle. Well, who made it? Lee or Enfield? Make up your..."

"And is that a weapon?"

"Peridot, we're at the _Imperial War Museum_. They're _all_ weapons."

"Even that?"

"No, that's a helmet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to do a whole fic that's just the CGs going to a museum or something.


	24. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot conquers the skies.

**Flight**

"Nyehehehehehe!"

Peridot stood upon the trash can lid, hands extended into the sky. Behind her, it slowly floated into the air, upward and upward, majestically raising the green gem.

"Finally!" she exclaimed, "I have mastered flight! Gravity has no bearing on me anymore! Behold my majesty!"

"Anyone gonna tell her she's only three feet in the air?" asked Bismuth.

"No," said Amethyst, her expression serious, her hands pressed together in front of her mouth, "I wanna see how this ends."

Peridot suddenly jerked upwards, flipped forward and landed hard onto her face.

"Argh! The lid _betrayed me!_ "

"Fascinating," said Amethyst.


	25. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has a bad dream.

**Nightmare**

"Amethyst! Amethyst, wake up!"

Amethyst grunted and sat up on the old mattress in her room.

"Peri?"

"I tried sleeping and I had a horrifying vision of the future!" exclaimed Peridot, "White Diamond came to Earth, and she had an army of the Smiling Man from Funland! A-and there was a thousand foot tall Jasper, and-and Pumpkin ate my CPH morps, and..."

"Dude," said Amethyst flatly, "That's not the future. That's a nightmare."

"... _nightmare?_ "

"Yeah," Amethyst murmured sleepily, "Bad dream."

"Oh."

Peridot blinked.

"So, uh, can I stay with you for a while?"

Amethyst rolled over to give her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear these aren't all just gonna be Amedot it's just a good ship mate


	26. Sadie n' Dot

**Sadie n' Dot**

"How did _this_ happen?!"

Sadie and Peridot ran down the dark street, pursued by the police. Peridot carried a sack labelled 'Secret Papers of Millard Fillmore,' and they both wore dark outfits and gloves.

"Never mind!" exclaimed Peridot, "Get back to the ship?"

"You mean car?"

"Whatever!"

They turned a corner, reaching an old, bright yellow coupe; two rockets were crudely attached to the back. They leapt in, and Peridot took the wheel.

"Ok, we've gotta get this to Garnet so we can deactivate Andrew Jackson's Deathbot!"

"Andrew Jackson's _what?_ "

"Hold on!"

Peridot floored the pedal and they thundered away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [And so...](https://youtu.be/dv13gl0a-FA?t=2m9s)
> 
> I remain the Captain, First Mate, Navigator, Sergeant of Marines and sole sailor of the good ship HMS Sadiedot. :P


	27. The Peridot-to-English Dictionary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A helpful guide to Periphrasing.

**The Peridot-to-English Dictionary**

_First edition complied by Steven Q. Universe, Connie Maheswaran, Amethyst Facet-5 Cut-8XM and Lapis Lazuli._

CLOD: Person, gem, or object that has caused irritation to Peridot. Example; _The cans are arranged alphabetically, you clod!_

MEEP MORP: An artwork; can be a sculpture, painting, drawing, multimedia object or collection of items randomly stacked together. Example; _The Mona Lisa is an overrated Meep Morp, as it can't be connected to Peridot in any way._

NEMESIS: That one bird that tried to make a nest in Peridot's hair that time.

PERIPHRASE: Word (probably) invented by Peridot herself. See also; touch stump, vision sphere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you know. :)


	28. The Doppelganger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot meets herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's the author of the journals, my brother."
> 
> There, now that joke's out of the way.

**The Doppelganger**

Peridot gazed in shock as she watched herself - her _old_ self, limb enhancers and all - step out of the portal. The other Peridot instantly wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Earth?" she said, "The Cluster should have destroyed this useless rock cycles ago..."

She frowned at the smaller Peridot.

"Where are your limb enhancers?" she demanded.

"Gone!" replied Peridot, "I don't need them anymore!"

Other Peridot narrowed her eyes.

"Is that a _star?_ " she demanded, " _Disgusting_. A _Crystal Gem?_ I can't believe you've let yourself stoop so low."

Peridot blinked.

"Wow," she said, "Was I really this much of a clod?!"


	29. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis meets the creatures of the sea.

**New Friends**

Lapis lay at the bottom of the sea, eyes closed. She smiled as she felt the gentle currents pass her by. She felt safe, tranquil, at peace. Nobody could disturb her down here; or at least, not easily.

Suddenly, she felt something brush against the side of her hand. She opened her eyes and looked around. _Odd_. She didn't see any fish...

" _Heeeey!_ "

The small voice was coming from below. She rolled over, and found herself face to face with two small creatures - one yellow, one pink.

"Hi, giant lady!" called Spongebob.

"See, Spongebob?" said Patrick, "Now _that_ is wumbo!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide if she's really like or really hate Spongebob.
> 
> She definitely wouldn't care for Patrick.


	30. Living History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl takes things a bit too far again.

**Living History**

"There, now you look the part!"

Pearl stepped back, looking over Steven and Connie. They were dressed in perfectly accurate American Revolutionary War uniforms - red for Steven, blue for Connie.

"Uh, my history presentation doesn't really need to be _this_ immersive," said Connie.

"These pants are chafing," added Steven.

" _Breeches_ , Steven, _breeches_ ," corrected Pearl, "Now, here are your guns..." She pushed two muskets into their arms. "Now, all you have to do is march to Connie's school!"

"But it's five miles!" exclaimed Connie, "And the presentation's _next_ week!"

"Immersion, Connie," said Pearl brightly, drawing a fife, "Now... _forward march!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Living history's great, though, if I'm honest.


	31. Ruby Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rubies learn about Valentines Day.

**Ruby Romance**

Sadie walked down the beach towards the temple. She'd received a strange invitation from an anonymous person asking her to come down - she was a little wary.

She turned the corner and froze.

The Ruby Squad stood in front of her, each on their knees. Doc stood in front of them, holding a written note.

"Today is human valentines," she said, "And Steven says we're supposed to find someone we find appealing to 'date'. We all wanted the same human, so... uh... date us?"

Sadie swallowed.

"...all of you?"

"Yeah!"

Sadie rubbed her head.

"Uh... I... sure, what the heck?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The twist is, there isn't a twist, it was just a nice dinner.
> 
> There's rare-pairs and then there's this. I dunno, I just thought it was funny.


	32. Dungeons and Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie runs a game.

**Dungeons and Diamonds**

"The dragon blocks your path," said Jamie, waving his hands dramatically, "He tells you; 'you may only pass by me if you answer these riddles thr-"

"I shank him," interrupted Amethyst.

"But... but he's a vital NPC," replied Jamie, "He's important to the lore of..."

"I shank him," repeated Amethyst.

She rolled the dice. Jamie stared at it for a long time.

"...twenty," he said at last, "You shank the dragon. He dies. Now we have to wait while I think of a new NPC..."

"Which Amethyst will inevitably kill," said Peridot helpfully.

Jamie buried his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jamie.


	33. All Greek To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet and Pearl go to a museum.

**All Greek To Me**

"...and this is a marble statue of Zeus, taken from a temple in Salonika in 1837..."

"Do we tell them that that's just a human interpretation of Yellow Diamond, Garnet?"

"No. Their story's a lot more fun. Besides, they have myths about _us_ , too."

"This isn't about the whole Sappho thing, is it? Because while that _was_ a fun weekend, I don't think I could be considered a symbol or anything... and Rose is _nothing_ like Aphrodite!"

"Like I said; it's _fun_."

"Oh, you only think that because they made you Heracles."

"...there were _definitely_ more than seven labours, though."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strictly speaking Pearl should be Hercules - after all, Rose Quartz is Megara.


	34. Attack of the Fifty Foot Frybo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peedee encounters an old enemy.

**Attack of the Fifty Foot Frybo**

"No! No! Frybo, please!"

Peedee stood in the shadow of the gigantic mascot that towered over the boardwalk. His enormous, soulless eyes peered down on him as rockets and bullets bounced off him. A bomber spun out of control, straight into his mouth; he swallowed it with chilling relish.

"Frybo, please, stop this!"

Frybo leaned down, his mouth opening again. A rain of fries, dripping with blood-red ketchup, tumbled down towards him.

" _Nooooooo!!!_ "

Peedee awoke with a start, panting heavily as he rubbed sweat from his brow.

"Man, Jeff's right," he said, "Maybe I _do_ need to see a therapist..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _*shudders*_ Frybo.


	35. Writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Pearl talk about writing.

**Writing**

"How do you think people come up with these stories?" asked Amethyst.

She and Pearl were sitting on Steven's bed, watching a show they'd found on TV; _Moments of Our Existence._

"I suppose they have a really complicated process," replied Pearl, "Probably working by committee to brainstorm ideas, deciding things weeks in advance. I imagine it's a huge labour of love for them."

"Yeah, they wouldn't just pull their story ideas out of their butts, would they?" agreed Amethyst.

_Meanwhile in another universe..._

"Okay, so for today's 100 Words, everything is the same as in canon... except they're snakes _._ "

" _Brilliant._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week shall be Greg Week.
> 
> The next themed week (so, next fortnight), I'm gonna bring back Unusual Pairings, so standby for submissions for that.


	36. Never Meet Your Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg reminisces about people he's met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the enthusiasm for Unusual Ships Week, but I'm going to have to ask you to sit on your ideas until I open submissions. That'll probably be on Sunday.

**Never Meet Your Heroes**

"Hey dad?" asked Steven, "Did you ever meet anyone famous when you were on the road?"

"Well, Marty usually kept me away from 'the big stars,'" shrugged Greg, "He said it would give me ideas. There was _one_ time I met John Lennon at a party though..."

"From the _Quarrymen?!_ " exclaimed Steven, "Wow! What was he like?"

"Well, first he thought I was Ringo," replied Greg, "When he found out I wasn't he said he didn't have time for an autograph, then he passed out in the bathroom."

He scratched his beard thoughtfully.

"Jimi Hendrix was cool, though," he added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the good musicians who died early in our world lived in SU-world. It is law.
> 
> Also John Lennon.


	37. House and Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg thinks about home.

**House and Home**

Sometimes, Greg did think about buying a 'proper' house. Perhaps the kind his parents would have liked him to have, with a white picket fence and a patio and a swimming pool. But he never really came to like the idea.

The van was small, yeah. Many of the parts had seen better days, the air conditioning didn't quite work, and even now it smelt faintly of disco parties and poor decision making. But it was _his_ , and he loved it. Why would he abandon it now?

Besides, he'd given his son a house. That was good enough for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a darn good van, though.


	38. Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg's brother calls.

**Brothers**

_Beep._

"Hi, you've reached Greg Universe. I can't come to the phone right now, leave a message after the tone!"

_Beeeep._

"...uh... geez, I should've prepared for this... hi, Greg, I... I know we haven't spoken in twenty years, but... I guess I just wanted to know how you're going? I mean, I heard you have a kid now, and he's... I dunno, half alien rock or something? Uh..."

_Sigh._

"...look, if you wanna talk or anything, I... look, forget it, it's been too long, I should've made an effort sooner, I... I'm sorry, I'll just let you-"

_Click._

"...Wirt?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll tear this headcanon from my cold, dead hands.


	39. Governor Greg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg has a new job.

**Governor Greg**

"Congratulations on your election, governor," said the aide, "What's first on your agenda?"

Greg sat awkwardly at the desk in an ill-fitting suit, scratching the back of his head.

"If I'm honest, I don't know," he replied, "I only really ran because the old guy was gonna knock down the lighthouse and build condos there. Um..."

He scratched his beard.

"Maybe... maybe we could, uh... raise upper class taxes and use that to feed the homeless?" he shrugged.

"Yeah, that won't work?"

"Have we ever _tried?_ "

"...uh..."

And that was how Governor Greg Universe turned Delmarva into an American Finland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure he'll work really well with President Pearl. :D


	40. Watching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg lays on the side of a hill and watches the world.

**Watching**

Greg Universe lays peacefully on the hilltop, overlooking Beach City. The wind blows gently around him, and a warm sun shines.

He's seen many things since the end of the Rebellion - White Diamond's ship still lies in the bay, a permanent scar on the landscape. They've built a memorial to those who lost their lives to the Diamonds on the beach.

He's watched the Crystal Gem family expand. There are dozens of them at the Temple now. Steven and Connie are married. All is peaceful.

Greg quietly watches over them from a small, peaceful plot of land on the hillside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was probably a very obvious plot twist. :/


	41. Cards With Greg And Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg invites Bismuth to cards.

**Cards With Greg And Bismuth**

"This is Bismuth," said Greg, "I think you saw her at the wedding?"

Bismuth ducked through Barb's front doorway and waved.

"Yeah, I remember you!" nodded Barb, "You caught the bouquet, right?"

"Still don't know what that is, but yeah," replied Bismuth, "That was me."

Vidalia crossed her arms and smirked.

"Well, if I wasn't _married_..."

"Uh, I'm not sure that's..." Greg began.

"It's a joke, Greg," said Vidalia flatly.

"Oh," said Greg, "So, uh, who's up for cards? I mean, we'll need to teach Bismuth..."

" _I_ can handle that," said Barb, smirking and winking.

"Oh boy," said Greg, swallowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but let's be real, if you had a choice between Yellowtail and Bismuth, you know what you'd pick.
> 
> ...
> 
> Both. You'd pick both.


	42. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg and Andy talk at the wedding.

**Wedding**

"Hey Greg, did you ever think of getting hitched with Rose?"

He and Andy stood by the drinks table, watching Garnet dance. Greg sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah," he said, "But I think part of me was like... well, mom and dad were always so adamant I settle down and make an 'honest woman' out of someone, and..."

"You felt like you'd be giving into them," nodded Andy.

"Yeah."

Greg frowned.

"I shouldn't have let them get to me like that," he said.

"Well, did you _want_ to get married?"

"...no."

"Well, that's all that matters."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we must big auf weidersein to Greg Week. It was fun, though!
> 
> Submisions for Unusual Ships Week II are now open! Rules are on the Google Doc, so just add your suggestions and we'll see what happens! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GYnWxaoXhl5pvyzqXpk3L30zzgN4rTm4RfP989yN2Xc/edit?usp=sharing


	43. Flat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie's feeling a little down.

**Flat**

Connie lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Priyanka and Doug watched from the kitchen doorway; Doug pursed his lips.

"She's been there all day," he said, "Has something happened?"

"No," replied Priyanka.

"Then what's wrong?" asked Doug, "Is there something we can do?"

Priyanka shook her head.

"I think she's just having an 'off' day," she said, "I mean, she's run herself ragged for weeks. No doubt she's mentally exhausted. Just let her rest."

Doug nodded.

"Okay, fine," he said, "But at very least, we're having a nice family dinner tonight."

"Just make sure it's healthy," Priyanka chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, it's okay to feel down for no reason. You don't need to have a big cause.
> 
> I appreciate the enthusiasm about Unusual Ships Week, but I need to ask that you submit them to the Google Doc here; https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GYnWxaoXhl5pvyzqXpk3L30zzgN4rTm4RfP989yN2Xc/edit?usp=sharing


	44. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's raining in Beach City.

**Storm**

A late night storm thundered down on the Beach House.

Steven lay in bed, watching the rain trickle down the window. Lightning danced across the sky, briefly filling the room with bright light - then came the roar of thunder, low and booming, slightly dealing the house.

He smiled and snuggled under the covers. He liked stormy nights - there was something relaxing about lying in bed listening to the rain on the roof.

Before too long, he had drifted off to sleep. Soon after, a figure walked up, tucked him in and kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight, Steven," Pearl whispered, walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to post your unusual ship suggestions here! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GYnWxaoXhl5pvyzqXpk3L30zzgN4rTm4RfP989yN2Xc/edit?usp=sharing


	45. Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spessartite Garnet discovers pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember Spess, from Fluff Shots? She's back today, because I really need some fluff today.

**Pizza**

Most gems, as a rule, didn't eat. Spessartite Garnet, the fusion of Leggy and Padparadscha, quite enjoyed it. She loved the feeling of strange textures on her tongue and the miasma of tastes and smells.

Pizza had proved a particular favourite; her human friend, Kiki, had introduced her to a variety of toppings (Amethyst's suggestions had proved a bit too extreme), and after a while she began to learn to make them herself.

Kofi had initially been a little suspicious of Spess' pizza-making skills, but then he'd tried one. And that, my friends, was how Spess got a part-time job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been able to reply to comments lately. I'll try to catch up on my backlog tomorrow.


	46. Job Satisfaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Pearl is happy.

**Job Satisfaction**

White Pearl smiles at her Diamond's guests. You'd never imagine that she were anything but a calm, polite little pearl.

White Diamond shows her off - look at her, so graceful, so obedient, so pretty, and never a word out of turn. She loves her job, her Diamond says, so naturally she does.

She loves her life.

_NO NO THIS IS WRONG_

She loves her job.

_WHERE IS PINK DIAMOND IS THIS EARTH WHY CANT I MOVE_

She loves her Diamond.

_WHY CANT I STOP SMILING PLEASE **SOMEBODY HELP HE-**_

The thoughts vanish on White Diamond's orders, and White Pearl smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy happy joy joy.


	47. Bandit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a bandit in the wilderness, they say.

__**Bandit**

There was tell among the slave-owning states of a bandit in the wilderness, striking at plantations at will and burning them to the ground.

When succession occurred, the insurrectionist congress in Richmond finally resolved to do something about this bandit - they didn't want another John Brown. But the militiamen they sent soon came scurrying back in panicked disarray.

The bandit, they said, was tall, with rainbow hair, and she could transfigure her hands into hammers. She was impervious to steel and shot, and she was 'a damned fierce fighter."

The South made several more attempts to catch 'Bismuth.'

All failed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bismuth kicking the crap out of slave-holding racists. Is there anything better in the world?


	48. Chicken and Egg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strikes Amethyst.

**Chicken and Egg**

Amethyst lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Peri."

Peridot looked up from her tablet.

"Yes, Amethyst?" she replied.

"You ever wonder where the Diamonds came from?" asked Amethyst.

"From a kindergarten, I guess," shrugged Peridot, "Like all the other gems."

"But the Diamonds are, like, the _original gems_ , right?" continued Amethyst, "So if they came out of kindergartens, who put the kindergartens there in the first place?"

Peridot opened her mouth.

"Th-"

She closed her mouth, scratching her chin.

"I've... _never thought about that,_ " she admitted.

"Feels like a 'chicken and egg' thing..."

"A what?"

"Never mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, of course, assuming the Diamonds were the first gems. Perhaps there were gems before them?
> 
> There's one more day left to suggest ships for Unusual Ships Week! :D  
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GYnWxaoXhl5pvyzqXpk3L30zzgN4rTm4RfP989yN2Xc/edit?usp=sharing


	49. Zombies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the zombie apocalypse - or is it?

**Zombies**

"We have to barricade the door!" exclaimed Jenny, "The walkers are coming!"

"The what?" asked Sour Cream, tilting his head.

"I think she means zombies," said Sadie.

"When did it stop being cool to call them that?" mused Buck.

"I dunno, mid-nineties?"

Jenny blinked and shook her head.

"There's no time to argue about that!" she exclaimed, "We've gotta make a barricade before..."

"I like 'shamblers,' myself," said Sour Cream.

"Yeah," nodded Sadie, "Or maybe Zeds could work, too."

"Infected's pretty rad too," nodded Buck, "But I think the best name for a zombie would be..."

" _GUYS. THE DOOR. NOW._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just use 'zombie,' guys. Less confusing.
> 
> Thanks for the submissions for Unusual Ships Week II! I've got a bunch, so it should be pretty good!


	50. Barb Goes To The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barb gets into a minor altercation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barb - Priyanka friendship suggested by Agent66.

**Barb Goes To The Hospital**

"...so I kicked him so hard in the sack I pulled a tendon."

Priyanka bit her lip and said nothing as she finishing applying the bandage to Barb's foot.

"And I'd do it again," continued Barb, "I mean, not likin' her band's one thing - you're allowed to be _wrong_ \- but makin' snide comments about her _looks_..."

"It's certainly beyond the pale," nodded Priyanka, "But I'm not sure kicking him was the best response. The County Sheriff says she wants to talk..."

"You'd do it, though," Barb remarked, "If it were Connie."

Priyanka pursed her lips.

"Yeah..." she admitted.

" _Atta girl._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, don't mess with Barb's daughter. Or Priyanka's, for that matter.


	51. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper has three orders for her underlings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jasper/Eyeball suggested by Roseflowertheunicorn.

**The Plan**

Jasper stormed into the war room, her face set into a scowl. The Quartzes already there swallowed and recoiled.

"Alright, listen up!" snapped Jasper, slamming her fists on the table, "I've got _three_ orders for you. Gather into two groups - the main group will work around the rebel's right flank while the other makes a diversionary attack along their front."

"A-and what's the third order?" an Amethyst asked.

Jasper picked up Eyeball from under the table, hugging her.

"This is Eyeball," she declared, "And if you let anything happen to her, _I'll shatter you myself._ "

Eyeball smiled and hugged back.


	52. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet shows Topaz a magic trick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garnet-Topaz friendship suggested by Phantom Rider.

**Magic**

" _...rain expect all weekend. For Radio Beach City News, I'm Earl Davis..._ "

Topaz frowned as she listened to the radio.

"So Steven and Greg won't be able to teach me how to fish?" she asked sadly.

"No," replied Garnet, "But don't worry; I have a better idea."

She grabbed a pack of cards from the coffee table and shuffled them.

"What're you doing?" asked Topaz.

"I'm going to show you a magic trick," replied Garnet, "You haven't thought of it yet, but..."

She drew a card.

"...will _this_ be your card?"

"Oh my stars," exclaimed Topaz, "It _might have been!_ "


	53. Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garnet shows Spess her cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garnet - Spess (my Leggy/Padparadscha fusion) friendship suggested by realfakedoors.

**Cat**

"This," said Garnet, "Is Cat Steven."

Spess gasped, starry-eyed, as she looked at the little cat in Garnet's arms. Cat Steven purred contentedly and gently licked Garnet's arm.

"Wow," said Spess, "That is such a cute human!"

"She's a cat," Garnet corrected, "Hold out your arms."

Spess did so. Carefully, Garnet handed Cat Steven to her, letting the other fusion nervously hold her close. The cat meowed, purred and nuzzled against her face.

"Oh no, she's attacking me!" Spess exclaimed.

"No," Garnet replied kindly, "It means she likes you."

She smiled.

"She's a _very_ good judge of character," she said.


	54. Beautiful Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars holds out faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lars/Lapis suggested by needforsuv.

**Beautiful Disaster**

Lapis, Lars found, could be surly, irritable and often dismissive, and in that respect she reminded him of himself. A lot of people, he felt, had given up on her; they'd tolerate her for Steven's sake, but they weren't _comfortable_ with her.

He emphasised. He'd been there. He'd pushed people away too. But in the end, Steven and Sadie had, for some reason, kept their faith in him, and he'd come out better.

He knew Lapis was good, at heart. One day, perhaps, she'd be willing to open herself up.

Until then, he'd accept her, beautiful disaster though she was.


	55. A New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cool Kids make a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cool Kids - Fluorite friendship suggested by Blapis Blazuli.

**A New Friend  
**

Bill Dewey stared at the sight in front of him.

His son and his friends were gathered in their basement; with them was an enormous blue gem, almost like a caterpillar, who smiled pleasantly at him.

"Hey, Mr. D!" exclaimed Jenny, "You met Fluorite yet?"

"She's one of Lars' new friends," added Sour Cream, "She's pretty rad."

"I'm... sorry... if... I... make... you... uncomfortable," said Fluorite, "It's... not... every... day... you... see... a... six-gem... _fusion_..."

"She's everything I aspire to be," Buck said bluntly.

"Oh... well, hello there!" replied Dewey nervously, "Um... _how_ did you get in the basement, anyway?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they dug a hole for her, dewey, get with the program


	56. Furry Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lion is very protective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lion - Cat Steven friendship uggested by realfakedoors and seconded by half the people who submitted to the doc, so I couldn't not do it. XD

**Furry Friend**

Cat Steven was a very unusual new addition to the pride, Lion thought, in that she wasn't _unusual_ at all.

Most of Lion's pride came in strange shapes and sizes, from the tall, square person who was actually two, to the human girl who he accepted as his equal. Cat Steven had no powers or skills. She liked sleeping, drinking milk and more sleeping.

Yes, Lion thought, this cub required _extra_ protection.

As a result, he kept her in his sight at all times, allowing her to use his body as a shield...

...and a pillow. A very comfy pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lion's fur is soft and cuddly, or do you think it's more firm like a husky or a dingo? I don't know, I've never touched a lion, let alone a magic one.
> 
> I have petted a dingo though. I've got to tell you, it was pretty terrific.


	57. A Bit Unreasonable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emerald has a lot on her plate.

**A Bit Unreasonable**

Picture this.

You're an Emerald; you fancy yourself as quite a competent one. You've got this ship, which you treasure, bestowed up you by your superiors.

Some idiot just ran off with it, and you need to get it back.

Except on top of that, you still have a large portion of space you need patrol - now with _less ships_. And then Yellow Diamond, who normally personally commands security for most of this region, goes gallivanting off to Earth and leaves _you_ to command _her_ forces.

And you still need to find your ship.

You really, _really_ hate that pirate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be Monday!


	58. It Adds Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gems realize the price of their freedom.

**It Adds Up**

"Mayor Nanefua," declared Garnet, "We've decided it's time for us to give back to Beach City."

"And by that, we mean Steven's making us," added Amethyst.

"We figured helping the city pay for the collateral damage would help build goodwill between our communities," finished Pearl, pulling out her wallet, "So..."

"Okay," said Nanefua, tapping on her calculator, "So, all up, you owe the city of Beach City twenty-two trillion dollars. And fourteen cents."

There was a long, very uncomfortable silence.

"This meeting is over," declared Garnet.

She flipped over the table and the Crystal Gems bolted out of Nanefua's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, they're never gonna pay that nana


	59. Double Catharsis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a special day in Berlin.

**Double Catharsis**

It was a special day in Berlin. A train carrying the Italian dictator, Benito Mussolini, had arrived at the main train station.

As Hitler himself in front of the carriage door, it suddenly flew open. Mussolini flew from the train, landing in a heap next to the Führer.

Amethyst stood in the train door, whip over her shoulder. She ignored the guards raising their guns, instead focusing on the astonished dictator.

"What's up?" she said, "I just got out of a meeting with Benny here, but I got time for you."

She smiled and hurled her whip into Hitler's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once every time. Guaranteed.
> 
> (It was originally supposed to be Stalin instead of Mussolini, but Hitler and Stalin never actually met and I wanted this to be a historically accurate arse-kicking.)


	60. A Different Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a parallel universe, Rose had a different child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get it it's a pun

**A Different Universe**

Sadie Miller was enjoying her new job.

It was an older building, or at least it looked like one, about half a mile down the road from Beach City. The owner had moved from Oregon last year. Her co-worker had come with him; he was a large and friendly man.

But it was the owner's niece who was most interesting. She'd lived here for years, in that weird temple down the beach. She enjoyed glitter and grappling hooks, and was endlessly energetic. She also had a rock for a bellybutton, and apparently magical powers.

Her name was Mabel Quartz Pines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Dipper still exists. He's just got a different twin - they call that twin Steven.


	61. Lapis the Artist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis does some painting.

**Lapis the Artist**

"So, this is my painting."

Lapis stood aside to let Pearl look at the canvas.

"Okay, so I drew the ocean," she said, "Because... well, water's important to me. Um... that little blob there's supposed to be a boat but I think I painted it wrong, sorta looks like a tent... and I ran out of blue paint, so, uh, the sky's green instead, but..."

She shrugged.

"What do you think?" she asked.

Pearl smiled and put an arm around her.

"Well, it's... _unique_ ," she admitted, "But I like it! Excellent work, Lapis!"

"Heh, thanks," Lapis blushed. "Don't mention it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She was using water colours.
> 
> :D


	62. Beware the Internet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An autobiographical story.

**Beware the Internet**

Amethyst sat down at the kitchen counter next to Steven, resting her head on her arms.

"Hey," said Steven, looking up from his pasta, "Where's Peridot?"

"Oh, she said she wanted some Peri-time," replied Amethyst, "Said she was gonna look up fanart for CPH on DA for a bit."

"Oh, okay."

Steven returned to his food while Amethyst quietly dozed.

Suddenly, both their heads shot up, eyes wide.

"We have got to stop her," declared Amethyst.

_Meanwhile..._

"Greg, I called you for some help with human terminology. What is a _vore?_ ...Greg? Greg? I think you've accidentally terminated our communication..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder - if you don't know what it is, just don't ask. You'll be much happier.


	63. The Healing Process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper is lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rather tired tonight, so I'll have to reply to comments in the morning. Please accept my sincere apologies.

**The Healing Process**

Jasper doesn't know where she is right now, emotionally.

She knows she's supposed to hate Rose... no, _Steven_. Either he's lying and he did shatter Pink Diamond, or he's not, and she's lived a lie for millennia. Either way, she should despise the runt, but... but she's just _numb._

She sits on the beach and stares out to sea, unmoving.

Her whole world is gone. They'll never let her return to Homeworld and she has no real home on Earth. She's lost, possibly forever.

And yet, maybe, just maybe, she can get through.

The stars only know she's survived worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I haven't actually decided what next week's theme is going to be.
> 
> Hmm...
> 
> You know what. Boardie week! Let's give the people of Beach City some spotlight.


	64. Happy Families

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach City doesn't have a lot of nuclear families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is late. I went to have a nap and woke up eight hours later.

**Happy Families**

For an outsider, it might seem strange how few 'traditional' families there were in Beach City.

Bill Dewey's wife had passed. Kofi, Fryman and Barb had all divorced their partners, with varying degrees of amicability. Jamie didn't even know his parents. Vidalia had two children from two relationships. And Steven's family - well, they needed no introduction.

There were malicious rumours in other towns that Beach City was cursed, or perhaps simply immoral; that there was something inherently wrong with them.

And yet, according to surveys ten years running, Beach City was the happiest town in the region.

Makes you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was raised by a single mother myself, so I'm naturally inclined to be a bit suspicious of the whole 'nuclear families are better' thing.


	65. The Good War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach City goes to WWII.

**The Good War**

When the war began, Beach City gave it's young for the cause. It was a good war, they said, a clean crusade against evil.

Buck Dewey came home first; he left an arm in the Kasserine Pass. Then came the letter that told them that Lars was buried at some place called Buna. Then another about Sour Cream - B-17 shot down over Schweinfurt, no parachutes.

Kevin returned from the Marines in 1945, but refused to talk of what he'd seen. As for Jamie, he'd last been heard from at a place called Malmedy.

It was a good war, they said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No such thing as a good war.
> 
> (That having been said, defeating the Nazis was absolutely essential.)


	66. Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kofi and Fryman don't hate each other...

**Rivals**

"Kofi and Fryman are at it again," said Jamie.

It was a bit of a redundant statement - their argument about the merits of fries vs pizza could be heard from the Post Office. Barb smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Like an old married couple, those two," she replied.

"If only they could bury their hate," sighed Jamie.

"Hate?" Barb crossed her arms. "Those two are best friends, Jamie. Just watch 'em when they're not working - they're always together. They're just passionate about cuisine. Heck, if they teamed up, they'd practically run this town."

"You make them sound like the mob..."


	67. The Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronaldo and Mr. Fryman have a serious discussion.

**The Debate**

"Can I hang out here for a bit? Dad and Ronaldo are having The Debate."

Kiki raised an eyebrow as Peedee entered the restaurant.

"This about the blog again?" she asked.

"I wish!" Peedee ran a hand through his hair, "It's worse! They..."

"...you don't understand, dad!" Ronaldo's voice drifted over. "You don't get the art behind Batman's tragic story!"

"I keep telling you, he's overrated! Now, Superman - he's an icon! A symbol!"

"He's _laaaaaame!_ "

Kiki winced.

"Hold on, I'll handle this."

Jenny walked up to the door and pushed it open.

"Spider-Man's better than both of them!" she called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The answer to Superman vs Batman is always Spider-Man.
> 
> Or Squirrel Girl.


	68. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sequel nobody asked for!

**Date Night**

Kiki glanced between Sadie and her date.

"...so," she asked, "What can I get you tonight?"

"I think I'll have the Pepperoni," replied Sadie, looking up from the menu, "Gotta stick with the classics, right?"

"Okay," nodded Kiki, writing it down, "And, uh... and you?"

The giant Ruby sitting across from Sadie was scratching her chin.

"I think... Calamari."

"Alright," said Kiki, "Should be about twenty minutes."

She turned and walked back to the counter, passing the order to Jenny.

"Anything about that seem a bit... _odd_ to you?" she asked.

"Yeah," nodded Jenny, "Nobody's ever ordered the Calamari before..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a crack ship, but it's fun. What can you do? :D


	69. TV Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vidalia and her family read the TV Guide.

**TV Guide**

Vidalia sighed, looking up from the TV Guide section of the newspaper.

"It's still not coming back," she grumbled, "Only thing that's interesting is Deathball and the Weather Is Scary Channel."

Yellowtail glanced over.

"Muh muh muh?"

"Nope, Super Sentei: Fishing Team's not out until November."

"Muh..." Yellowtail muttered, crestfallen.

Vidalia patted his shoulder sympathetically and returned to the guide.

"There's a show about DJs on at seven," she added.

"Who's on it?" asked Sour Cream.

"Um... 'DJ Soos Dude'... 'Rainbow Stalin'..."

"Ugh, I got into a Chirper fight with him," replied Sour Cream, "I'll pass."

"Probably a good call..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DJ Soos Dude is pretty good though. His remix of Straight Blanchin' is straight blanchin'.


	70. Meanwhile...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, at the Temple...

**Meanwhile...**

Pearl emerged from the temple, deep in thought.

"What's up, P?" asked Amethyst, looking up from a soup of various things she'd found on the beach.

"I don't know," replied Pearl, "I can't help but feel like we've been slightly... _neglected_ this week."

"Yeah, that probably means the FBI guy's watching someone else's phone," shrugged Amethyst, "Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry, the FBI... what?" asked Pearl.

"It's a meme, I'll explain it later," replied Amethyst, "Say, do you ever wonder what the people in Beach City do when we're not around?"

"No."

"Yeah, me neither. Let's go bug Garnet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for Boardie Week. 
> 
> Next fortnight, I reckon it's finally time to do Stevonnie Week. But first an unthemed week. I need to recharge my creative energies. XD


	71. The Statuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gems have two choices.

**The Statuary**

"Okay," said Pearl, standing outside the old, open-air temple, "I think we have two choices."

She smiled and gestured towards the grounds.

"We could go inside this long-abandoned and deeply magical temple which happens to have a collection of golden statues that perfectly resemble us, and is supposed to have been used to test time travel and matter transmutation..."

She turned around, her smile growing. She looked very, _very_ uncomfortable.

"Or we could not and say we did."

"Yeah, let's not," replied Connie.

"I'm not down," added Amethyst.

"This doesn't end well," said Garnet.

"Let's go get pizza," finished Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it looks like a bad horror movie premise... _don't poke around it._


	72. Back to the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie go way, way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a random plot bunny.

**Back to the Beginning**

"Steven, think about this."

Steven and Connie stood behind Pink Diamond's palanquin, thousands of years in the past. Connie held Steven's arm, trying to prevent him from going inside.

"We have to tell them what happens!" exclaimed Steven, "We can stop the corruption! We can save everyone!"

"But it'll change _everything!_ " replied Connie, "I mean, you might not even _exist!_ "

"It doesn't matter," said Steven.

"It does to _me._ "

Steven looked into Connie's pleading eyes. He swallowed.

"I... I don't want anyone to get hurt..."

"Hey!"

A shadow fell over them.

"Looks like we've got some humans here," growled Jasper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then they get pulled off to see Pink, because she loves them humans, and everything changes anyway.
> 
> Oh well.


	73. First Person Lapis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis becomes a gamer.

**First Person Lapis**

"So I introduced Lapis to Call of Battlefield," Amethyst said to Peridot, "That might have been a mistake."

"What do you mean?"

"HA! LOOK WHO JUST GOT A V2!"

Lapis sat in front of a laptop on the bed wearing a headset, screaming at the small screen.

"ALRIGHT, FIFTEEN KILL-STREAK!" she thundered, "THAT'LL TEACH YOU, YOU GAME-HACKING AIM-BOTTING TEN YEAR OLD PIECE OF..."

"She's gotten... competitive," sighed Amethyst.

"Yeah, that happens," shrugged Peridot, "You should've seen the time we played Snakes and Ladders."

"ALRIGHT, YEAH! I WIN!" shouted Lapis, " _I'VE HUMILIATED YOU FOREVER!_ ...so, Peri, what're we doing this afternoon?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should see her play Mario Kart.


	74. The New Black Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plague sweeps the land.

**The New Black Death**

Sadie walked alone through down the deserted, dismal Atlantic City Boardwalk. The cold wind and the spray of the surf buffeted her, but she carried on.

The last month had been a blur. What they'd called 'the New Black Death' had swept the world. So many of her friends were gone - somehow, she was immune.

There was rumour that the CDC were working on a cure, way up in Maine, derived from gem tech. With the gems still on Homeworld, it fell to her to save her remaining friends and family.

So on and on she walked, cold and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess she is legend.


	75. Back to the Drawing Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some ideas are worse than others.

**Back to the Drawing Board**

Mr. E350,

We write about your suggestions for our fiction collection, entitled as follows;  
\- Connie Goes to the Vietnam War  
\- The Surprising Adventures of Onion and Topaz  
\- Garnet Beats Up My Dad  
\- The Barn and the Temple: A Steamy Romance in Seventeen Volumes  
\- Lars' Adventures In Coma Land  
\- Make Homeworld Great Again: White Diamond/Marty 2020  
\- Garnet and Amethyst Beat Up My Dad  
\- Aquamarine Did Nothing Wrong  
\- The Steven Universe Crusader Kings Mod  
\- Lapis and Sonichu: A Love Story  
\- Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl Beat Up My Dad

These stories have been rejected for reasons of sanity and good taste.

Pearl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God help me if I end up needing to write a oneshot a day for thirty one days or something.
> 
> ...
> 
> Oh yeah...


	76. The Noble Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the time of John, a bold warrior sets out on a quest.

**The Noble Quest**

It was in the time of King John, when all of England was beset with strife, that bold Ruby set off on her quest.

She had heard of the misdeeds of Martin, Sheriff of Nottingham; how he had captured the fair Sapphire and interred her in Nottingham Castle, suspected of being a soothsayer and witch. Thus, Ruby resolved to defend Lady Sapphire's honour, and rode forth from Sherwood.

Before she departed, she was gifted an enchanted ring by the smith Bismuth, that she proclaimed would unite her soul with her one true love. And thus began the legend of Garnet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's basically Robin Hood, just in case that's not clear. :P


	77. The Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl takes up a challenge.

**The Challenge**

"So, I've challenged myself to write a story every day for the month of October," said Pearl, "I saw this other writing doing it - his was _awful_ , but it looks like fun."

She saved the document on the laptop.

"I've just done Day 1," she said, "And it was hard, but I'm satisfied!"

"Good," nodded Garnet.

She paused.

"Now you have to do it thirty more times."

Pearl blinked, staring into the distance. She felt as if a song was playing in the back of her head.

_Hello darkness my old friend  
I've come to talk to you again..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why I don't do NaNoWriMo. XD
> 
> If you have no idea what I'm talking about, my annual Halloween Unspectacular challenge is once again underway on Fanfiction.net. I've done it seven times, and it never gets easier. I mean, it's fun, that's why I do it, but it never gets easier. XD
> 
> And tomorrow, Stevonnie Week!


	78. Fusion's Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie spends some time with other fusions. And some others.

**Fusion's Day Out**

"Can't help but feel kinda jealous," said Bismuth.

She was sitting on a towel on the beach with Stevonnie, Garnet and Peridot; next to them, Opal lay on her back, taking in the warm sun.

"Oh," said Stevonnie, rubbing the back of their head, "Um, you... you want me to unfuse? 'Cause I..."

"Nah, it's a joke, don't worry about it," Bismuth laughed.

She turned to Peridot.

" _Unless..._ "

"You'd have to treat me to the human custom of 'dinner' first," Peridot replied dryly.

"Noted," Bismuth chuckled.

"Wait a minute..."

Opal sat up.

"When did we all fuse again?" she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still hopal for opal


	79. (Not) Dancing With The Kevins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin can't take a hint.

**(Not) Dancing with the Kevins**

"Come on, if I turn up to mom's ball without a date, I'm gonna look _lame!_ " exclaimed Kevin, pacing on the deck.

"For the last time, Kevin, _no!_ " replied Stevonnie.

"Oh come on, what do I have to do?!" demanded Kevin.

"Gee, have you tried being likable?" asked Amethyst.

"I'm sorry, Kevin, I just don't like you," sighed Stevonnie, "Either in the romantic sense or the friendship sense. You just need to find someone who likes you for who you are!"

"But _nobody_ likes me for that!"

"Well... I can't help you. Sorry."

Stevonnie walked away, leaving Kevin feeling forlorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno, Kevvo, maybe try Jamie?


	80. When 'Vonnie Met Smoky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie makes an impossible friend.

**When 'Vonnie Met Smoky**

"This definitely shouldn't be possible," said Stevonnie.

"You're telling me," replied Smoky Quartz.

The three-armed fusion had just appeared in front of them, carrying a strange gem wand. The two fusions had stared at each other for a long time, working out what to say.

"Is this time travel or are you from another world?" asked Stevonnie.

"Did you poof the Diamonds?"

"Nope."

"Another world, then," shrugged Smoky.

"We should probably get you home," mused Stevonnie.

" _Or_ we could hang out," replied Smoky, "I mean, when am I ever gonna _swing_ round again?"

They swung their yo-yo.

"Yeah, that's true..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take the opportunity, Stevonnie. Hang out with Ol' Smoky. They're cool.


	81. Comics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie makes a comic.

**Comics**

Steven liked drawing. Connie liked writing. It was probably inevitable, then, that Stevonnie would end up making a comic.

They drew a superhero comic, because superheroes were cool (and weren't they one, in a way?) The heroes were a graceful swordswoman, a boisterous firebrand with a whip and a tall, cool leader with super punches. So basically, they were just the gems with different names, but they were writing what they knew, so it wasn't too hard.

An issue came when they tried to write their name on the cover. Were they Stevonnie Universe? Stevonnie Maheswaran?

Stevonnie Mahesniverse. That'd do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comic starts good, but it really gets awesome when Water Witch shows up.


	82. New Friend Fusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie gets a visitor.

**New Friend Fusion**

Stevonnie heard a knock on the door.

When they opened it, they found themself looking at a somewhat broad person with patchy skin - partially pale, partially pink. Their yellow-orange hair puffed up at the front and extended down to about their shoulders. They wore a black coat over a black, maroon and white uniform, a cape over their back.

"So, um," they said, "I guess I'm Lardie."

"Oh my gosh!" exclaimed Stevonnie, stars in their eyes, " _You fused!_ That's _amazing!_ "

They blinked.

"...and impossible, how did you manage that?" they asked.

Far behind them, Fluorite gave a thumbs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is a way to help someone fuse, either Fluorite or Garnet _will find it_.


	83. The Camping Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie takes Spess camping.

**The Camping Drabble**

"Okay, Spess," said Stevonnie, "We set up the tent!"

Spessartite Garnet climbed out of Greg's van and skipped over to the tent and campfire. She sat down, rocking back and forth excitedly as she smelt the mountain air.

"Ooh, it's so beautiful around here!" she said.

"Didn't realise you'd get so into this," chuckled Kiki, sitting next to her.

"What do we do first?" asked Greg, "Scary stories?"

"Maybe not that," Stevonnie advised, "Remember when Lars showed her creepypasta and she thought Jim the Murderer was real..."

" _JIM THE MURDERER?!_ "

Spess leapt into the tent to hide.

"Marshmallows it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, though, that creepypasta kind of sucks. :/


	84. Welcome Aboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie makes a big choice.

**Welcome Aboard**

Stevonnie swallowed and entered the room.

The fusions were gathered on couches, except for Fluorite who lay on her side next to them. Garnet, Rhodonite and Topaz were in a discussion; next to them, Spess was building something out of LEGO. They looked up as Stevonnie entered.

"Stevonnie," said Garnet, smiling, "What brings you here?"

"I... I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately," replied Stevonnie, rubbing the back of their head, "And... I want to join the Permafusion Club."

Garnet's smile widened.

"Welcome aboard," she said, "We're very glad to have you."

"I'm glad to be here," replied Stevonnie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus the least surprising twist in the Permafusion Club story occurred.
> 
> I'm thinking next fortnight we'll do another AU week. And I'll hope and pray we get an airdate sometime soon, otherwise I have to think of something special for the hundredth chapter again. XD


	85. The King's Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose finds herself wooed - Pearl is unimpressed.

**The King's Proposal**

"His Majesty the King sends his well wishes," said the envoy, "And prays that you would venture to Hampton Court to be his bride..."

Rose chuckled nervously and opened her mouth to reply - Pearl cut her off.

"Your King Henry hounded his first wife out of his life," she spat, "He beheaded his second and fifth wives; his fourth he rejected because she was 'too ugly.' I don't know who this 'King' thinks he is, but he's far from good enough for Rose Quartz. Good day!"

She stormed off, dragging Rose behind her.

"Catherine Parr it is," shrugged the envoy,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The king in question is Henry VIII, just in case that's not clear.


	86. One Logical Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doug encounters a stranger.

**One Logical Explanation**

Doug's mobile phone rang as he walked up the beach towards the temple.

"Doug speaking."

"Hello Doug, its Pearl. There's a very odd human outside our house."

"How odd are we talking about here?" asked Doug.

"... _fairly_ ," replied Pearl.

"I'm sure I can handle 'em," shrugged Doug.

He reached the temple. A strange man was ranting loudly on the sand - he turned to Doug, gesticulating towards the beach house.

"Magical women!" he shouted, "Bellybutton gem stones! Small children with swords! There's only one logical explanation..."

He suddenly contorted widely.

" _FAIRY! GOD! PARENTS!_ " he screamed.

"Okay," Doug admitted, "Didn't expect that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the memories.
> 
> Too bad Butch Hartman ended up being a scumbag.


	87. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is possible to be _too_ engrossed in a book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late - dozed off.

**Fantasy**

"Y'know, when they said 'trapped in a good book,' I don't think this is what they meant," said Sadie.

She, Steven, Connie and Peridot stood in a field - everything around them had a strange washed-out watercolour look, like an illustration in a book. This made sense, given that they'd been sucked into one.

"I blame Pearl for this," said Peridot bluntly.

"Hey, maybe this is an opportunity!" exclaimed Connie, "Who else is gonna be able to experience _The Baron of the Jewellery_ like this?"

"I can meet Freddo!" added Steven.

"I just hope nothing happens to our book..." mused Sadie.


	88. Garnet's Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Garnet dream about?

"You ever wonder what Garnet dreams about?" asked Steven, as he, Amethyst and Pearl watched the fusion snooze on the couch.

"Nope," replied Amethyst, "I know. It's all Ruby and Sapphire making out, all the time."

"Amethyst, I'm sure that's not the only thing she dreams about," grunted Pearl, "I for one thinks she dreams of the noble battles she fought in the heady days of..."

"No, that's _you_ ," interrupted Amethyst, "That's just you."

"Well," shrugged Steven, "Maybe we'll never know..."

_Meanwhile, in Garnet's dream..._

"The papers have now been signed. Garnet, you have legally adopted KO as your son..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still haven't seen either Crossover Nexus or OK KO, but I saw screens of Garnet in it and she's basically adopted this kid, it seems.


	89. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie are safe and sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in Melbourne for the weekend, so comment replies will need to wait until Sunday. Sorry.

**Safe**

Steven and Connie live their lives on the Boardwalk, playing and loving among their families and friends, without a care in the world.

Never mind that everyone always seems to say and do the exact same things. Never mind that they sometimes see Amethyst or Vidalia repeating the same word over and over, or Peedee or Kiki flickering and glitching, or that they sometimes briefly remember mushroom clouds. These are normal things.

Their lives are ideal. They are safe. They will always be safe. Forever and ever.

Outside Rose's Room, the rain pelts the crater that was once Beach City.


	90. Pearl's Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Garnet have some fun at Pearl's expense.

**Pearl's Nose**

"Hey, Pearl, got'cha nose!"

Pearl rolled her eyes as Amethyst walked out of her room with the party hat.

"Amethyst, really?" she grunted.

"You've gotten unimaginative," added Garnet.

"Wait, what?" quizzed Amethyst.

"Wait, what?" exclamed Pearl.

"Your representation of Pearl's nose," replied Garnet, "Used to be a lot more... out there. You know, traffic cones, tents, church steeples, Concorde..."

"Do we have to?" sighed Pearl.

"...the Washington Monument, swordfish, actual swords, the English Electric Lightning fighter, the Great Pyramid, the..."

"Alright, that's it, I'm leaving," grunted Pearl, walking briskly into the temple.

There was a long silence.

"Oh, and Everest."


	91. Worth It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg wonders if they've made the right choice.

**Worth It?**

Was it worth it?

Greg stood outside the temple, numbly holding the bundle in his hands. His skin was still tender from the... event he had just witnessed, but the pain there could not compare to that in his heart.

Rose had made Steven, and now she was gone. Was it worth it?

He looked down at the baby's face - so young and smooth, and yet so painfully, beautifully familiar. He was blinking his eyes and reaching out with his tiny arms. Gently, Greg took the small hand and regarded his child, smiling wearily.

Yes. Yes, it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will answer reviews in the morning, as soon as o can. It's quite good to be back home, but I'm beat.


	92. Val

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In another world, a Peridot watches her bodyguard's daughter.

**Val**

Peridot-6VL - Val, as Barb called her - trembled behind the wall as she listened to the men in black outside. She could hear Agent Miller's voice. He cursed, and they returned to their cars and departed.

Val stood up and crept over to Sadie's room. The ten-year-old slept peacefully, unaware of Miller's presence. This was good - hopefully she'd never have to meet him.

She sat next to Sadie's bed and resolved not to move until Barb got home. Honestly, she was too nervous for this - all she wanted was a quiet life.

But she'd promised to watch Sadie, so she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on Ruby Stars and was suggested by Crossover-Enthusiast. Basically, it's what might have happened if the Peridot travelling with Kay had survived.
> 
> I think she'd be a big old ball of anxious.


	93. Moulin Rouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the shadow of the Great War, Peridot comes to Paris.

**Moulin Rouge**

Peridot was a detective - she fancied herself a good one. Why else would they send her to Paris, to catch German spies in her net?

The glamour of the city of lights was faded these days - the men had been sent to the trenches, and the streets were rundown. Even the Moulin Rouge looked tired, although it remained a popular haunt for French and British officers on leave.

It was there she saw her; her mane long and lustrous, her body round and entrancing. Peridot was instantly enthralled.

Her name was Amethyst, dancer, singer, secret wrestler - and suspected German spy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Amedot Day, everyone!


	94. Serving A Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper kidnaps a young Steven and Pearl. She didn't quite think this through.

**Serving A Diamond**

Jasper sat by the window of the boxcar as the train clattered through the countryside. Behind her, baby Steven dozed in Pearl's arms.

"You could kill us any time you want," she said bluntly.

Jasper grunted.

"Why don't you?" demanded Pearl.

"Because he's my diamond," replied Jasper simply, "I exist to serve him."

"Rose left raising him to Greg," said Pearl, "To the Crystal Gems."

"None of them understand who he really is," replied Jasper, "Not like us."

"What exactly do you plan to do when we get to Beta?" demanded Pearl.

Jasper pursed her lips.

"What he tells me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Jasper and Pearl raise him at Beta. It's all a bit awkward.


	95. The Gathering Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if the Gems lived in 1941?

**The Gathering Storm**

Pearl frowned as she listened to the radio.

"... _south of New Jersey_ ," the man - Lindbergh - boomed, " _The Roosevelt Administration has allowed an alien, unchristian sect of so-called Crystal Gems to live and operate on American soil. As Mr. Hitler noted last year, these loose women have been involved in subverting American neutrality by providing support to Great Britain and international Zionist entities..._ "

"Idiot," muttered Pearl.

"Is everything okay, Pearl?"

Pearl turned off the radio as Steven entered. She forced herself to smile.

"Everything's fine," she replied, "Everything's... everything's fine."

It was a barefaced lie, but Steven's life was complicated enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charles Lindbergh really did have a lot of dodgy anti-Semitic and vaguely pro-Nazi views.


	96. Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Rose had fallen in love with Fryman?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~It's called two brothers.~~

**Brothers**

"It's not fair," grunted Ronaldo.

He was sitting on a rock not far from the Temple, deep in a funk. Amethyst was wandering over to him, frowning.

"Come on, dude," she said, "You gotta know Peedee's life ain't all magic and stuff! I mean, he nearly dies _a lot_ , and..."

"He doesn't even _want_ his gem!" snapped Ronaldo, "I would've! If dad had met Rose a few years earlier, it would've been..."

"Yeah, and you wouldn't have your bro, man," replied Amethyst, "Come on, get your head outta your..."

Ronaldo sighed and nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "I guess you're right..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Peedee would be a lot more reluctant about dealing with gem stuff than Steven, I reckon.


	97. Charming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something charming about Amethyst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The basic premise of this AU is that Amethyst comes down to the Big Donut a lot. Not a massive AU but an AU nonetheless.

**Charming**

Steven was without a doubt their most regular customer, and a lot of the time he brought Amethyst along. She drove Lars up the wall, but Sadie found she liked her.

There was something charming about the off-the-wall food combinations she'd order, and how she'd always have something new to say. How she actually took an interest in what Sadie was doing. How she seemed so comfortable in her own skin. How the sun lit her purple skin, and how soft her body looked; how fluffy her hair must be, and how Sadie would blush when she saw...

... _uh oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Sadithyst. I skimmed a story where they interacted for a bit today and decided to give it a go.


	98. The House of Sardonyx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Sardonyx was a permafusion?

**The House of Sardonyx**

In town, they spoke a lot of Steven's adoptive mother; how tall she was, and how she had many arms. Connie was one of the few to see her in person.

She _was_ imposing, but she was also expressive, with a show-woman's eye to everything she did. She was somewhat vain but deeply affectionate, and doted on her Steven and her Amethyst. And if they liked you, then you were her friend too. She even got Connie's parents to like her... somehow.

Yep, Sardonyx was great, and Connie greatly admired her.

But she was a little worried about PTA night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven goes to school in this AU. Why not?
> 
> That's it for AU Week II! I'm not sure what our next themed week should be, I'll have a think and get back to you.


	99. VR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl discovers the wonders of VR.

**VR**

"This human simulated reality machine is surprisingly intuitive!" said Pearl, "I feel like I'm actually in this poorly-rendered world!"

Steven, Connie and Amethyst watched Pearl stumble around, the enormous VR headset over her eyes.

"So what's she playing?" asked Amethyst, "Anything good?"

"Well, I tried to show her a few games," replied Connie, "Like some of the action games, or that Mick and Rorty game, but she, uh, gravitated to something else."

"That _being?_ "

"...Lawnmower Simulator."

"Look at this lawn!" exclaimed Pearl, "I feel so satisfied! I-"

She stepped forward and tripped on the coffee table, tumbling to the floor.


	100. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're not alone.

**Together**

They're not going to do this alone.

Perhaps things look dark sometimes, especially now White Diamond is in the picture. But they have friends and family backing them up, and that group grows daily. They're no longer in the dark about anything (at least as far as they know.) Things are simple now.

Most importantly, they have each other's backs. They're Jam Buds, they're best friends forever. Who knows, maybe they're more?

Steven looks up at the stars and takes Connie's hand. They glow and run together, and suddenly they're both together and alone.

"We can do this," Stevonnie whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go, Day 100! Or, since I took a week off before I started, Day 108!
> 
> _*anguished, frustrated screaming*_


	101. Bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot interrupts something.

**Bath**

Peridot marched up to the bathroom door, her newest CPH fanart in her hand. This was her masterpiece, and she couldn't wait to show Lapis.

She threw open the door.

"Lapis, observe my-"

" _Don't come in DON'T COME IN!_ "

Lapis sat up in the bathtub, pulling the curtain over to cover herself. Her other arm was over Pearl's shoulder - the other gem ducked down, blushing deeply.

"Oh, I see you're cleansing yourself," nodded Peridot.

"Uh... yeah, sure!" exclaimed Lapis.

"Of course!" added Pearl.

"Very well, I'll leave you to it."

She closed the door.

"Wait... why are they cleansing together?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as close to risqué you'll ever get from me, I reckon.


	102. Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot resorts to desperate measures.

**Prayer**

Steven and Connie looked on as Peridot knelt before the sand-made altar, scented candles and framed pictures of Percy and Pierre lovingly placed on top.

"Is she praying?" asked Connie.

"Yeah," replied Steven, "To the 'CPH Goddesses.' For an end to the hiatus."

"Wow," said Connie, "That's... a little extreme."

"Yeah," nodded Steven, "When I pray for Crying Breakfast Friends to come back I usually just go for the candles. Much more tasteful to the supreme beings."

Connie stared.

"Um... does... does it ever work?" she asked, somewhat nervously.

Steven bowed his head forlornly.

"Nope," he replied, "It does not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help me lacc you're my only hope


	103. Riddle Me This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiki asks Pearl a riddle.

**Riddle Me This**

"Hey, Pearl," said Kiki as the gem passed by, "Got a riddle for you. There's two old men at a cross-"

"They're both lying," said Pearl.

"Wow, that was fast," nodded Kiki, "Guess you've heard it before, huh?"

"When you get to be several thousand years old," replied Pearl, "You hear the same riddles many, many times."

"Well, maybe you can help Ronaldo with it," mused Kiki, "He's been trying to work out the answer for three hours."

She pointed to Ronaldo, who was kneeling on the floor and clutching his head.

" _But they both seem equally trustworthy!_ " he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ronaldo.


	104. Imperium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why an empire?

**Imperium**

It's very simple, really.

White Diamond needs resources to achieve her various goals. To gather those resources, she needs gems, and to control those gems, she needs the other Diamonds. And when those Diamonds start their own projects, they need gems too. And all of those gems need their own resources, too.

So eventually, one planet isn't enough. Soon it's two, then ten, then fifty, then a thousand. And of course, they're can't be competition for these resources, so indigenous life forms must be subjugated - or exterminated.

This, then, is their exulted imperium; a grand and glittering plague of locusts.


	105. Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Pearl watches the sunset.

**Sunset**

Blue Pearl leaned over the balcony of the Beach House, watching the sunset. She smiled as she felt the wind on her form, and smelt the fresh sea air.

"Hey, Blue Pearl!"

Steven leaned out the door.

"We're gonna watch Dogcopter 5," he said, "You wanna come in and watch it with us?"

"No," Blue Pearl replied softly, "I think I'd rather stay out here."

"Okay, but feel free to come join us whenever you want!"

Steven closed the door. Blue Pearl closed her eyes.

"Whenever I want..." she whispered to herself.

For the first time ever, she felt free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a think about next week, and gone through the suggestions I've gotten (I'm very grateful for them), but I've decided I'm going to go completely left field and do Pearlapis Week! Mainly to give me time to come up with ideas for a later Crossover Week.


	106. Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl gets dramatic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Carl Wheezer voice* Ooh, William Shakespeare...

**Shakespeare**

Pearl had walked into the room with a ruff and tight pants, which was always a good sign.

"Fair maiden!" she declared, "Forsooth, your radient beauty knows no equal! Come hither with me, and let me spend my hours with ye, that the blossom of love may grow in your bosom!"

"... _what?_ " said Lapis, tilting her head.

Pearl sighed.

"I'm asking you on a date," she grunted, looking down at her ruff, "This worked for Ruby..."

"Ruby was a _cowboy_ ," said Lapis, "You're... I dunno, a jester?"

"A playwright!" exclaimed Pearl, "Like William Shakespeare!"

"I don't know who that is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You tried, Pearl.


	107. Her Whole World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl gets something off her chest.

**Her Whole World**

Pearl stares up at the portrait of Rose, sighing in the dark, moonlit living room.

"So," she said to the portrait, "I told you that you were my whole world. And... and you never really returned that feeling, didn't you? I was always pining for something I could never have..."

She closed her eyes.

"But it's okay now," she continued, "Because I've found someone who will."

She ran her arm over her eyes, drying them.

"Her name's Lapis," she continued, "I think you'd like her."

She turned her back.

"But that doesn't matter anymore, Rose."

With that, she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't at all hate Rose, but boy did she play around with Pearl's emotions, intentially or otherwise.


	108. Ferry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Pearl go to Sydney.

**Ferry**

The green and yellow ferry slowly sailed across the harbour. As they passed the heads, Lapis could see the endless Pacific Ocean beyond, and feel the sea air.

Pearl leaned in closer, putting a hand around her waist.

"Connie had the right idea," she said, "This is actually really nice."

"Yeah," nodded Lapis, leaning back on Pearl, "I like this. I..."

"OI! You stop that! Don't you know there are children on this ferry? I..."

Lapis raised a hand, and a sudden, massive wave of water knocked the shouting man overboard.

"Yep," nodded Pearl, closing her eyes, "This is perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually based on the ferry from Circular Quay to Manly, which I'd recommend on the basis of scenery alone. Just make sure you get right back on at the end, otherwise you'd have to stay in Manly, and that would suck.


	109. Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Pearl go on a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late.

**Double Date**

"I don't understand how you can eat that," grunted Pearl.

On the other side of the table, Amethyst ate another handful of the overloaded pizza.

"So," she asked, mouth full, "You two been up to much?"

"We went back to the Watermelon Island," shrugged Lapis, "And Pearl showed me her swords."

"Oh, and Lapis took me flying over the ocean, which was lovely," said Pearl, smiling.

"Man, your dates are lame," snorted Amethyst, "Come on, where's the fun?"

"Well, what do you do?" Lapis demanded.

"Amethyst has showed me how to 'Netflix and..." Peridot began.

"Yeah, not in public, 'Dot."


	110. Poofed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl's been poofed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry this is late - we had a bit of a bushfire scare yesterday. Thankfully it's under control now, but by the time it passed I was so tired I basically passed out on the lounge. (My back is killing me.)
> 
> Will get to replying to the comments some time today or tomorrow.

**Poofed**

Lapis looked at the small white gem in the basket and sighed. It had been a week, and there was still no sign that Pearl might reform. She knew she had to wait until her partner was ready, but she felt decidedly lonely.

Steven sat down next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Lapis," he said, "Pearl just takes a while to reform, is all."

"Yeah," nodded Lapis, "It just... I don't know what to do with myself."

'We could play Peckish Peckish Rhinos?" suggested Steven.

Lapis smiled wearily.

"Yeah," she said, "I'd like that."


	111. Wild West

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Night Mail's being held up.

**Wild West**

It was assuredly an unfavourable situation. The Night Mail was being held up; Lapis looked up at the outlaw, Colt revolver in his hand, as he demanded all valuables from the terrified passengers.

"Hey, you," he sneered, turning his gun on Lapis, "Hand over everything you got, and don't try anything funny..."

"Now, that's certainly no way to talk to a pretty lady."

Lapis looked down the carriage at the newcomer; tall, lithe and confident, a gun on her hip and a confident smirk on her face. Lapis blushed.

"Name's Pearl," she said, "And I'm here to bring you in."


	112. Moonstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moonstone's existence is delicate.

**Moonstone**

Moonstone's entire existence is delicate - every moment she exists, the whispered echo of Malachite reverberates in her mind, combined in strange fashion with an exhilarating feeling not experienced since Rainbow Quartz.

Perhaps, then, it was understandable that Lapis and Pearl only initially fused on missions.

But as time went on, the definition of 'mission' shifted. Apparently their combined strength was needed to fight bigger monsters, to access high places and most crucially, to tuck Steven into bed in the evenings.

Tonight, she sits on the beach, looking at the stars.

It's not a mission, but for once, she's at peace.


	113. Funland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Smiley has a conundrum.

**Funland**

Harold Smiley mops his brow, wondering how he's going to phrase this.

High above him, the two gem matriarchs stare down at him expectantly, their Pearls having just handed him 'currency' (two Canadian hundred dollar bills). They expect him to acquiesce to their demands, but he can't. From the awkward look on Steven's face, Mr. Smiley can tell he agrees. Amethyst, meanwhile, is trying hard not to laugh.

"Well," snaps Yellow Diamond, "We've given you the money."

"And followed your rules," adds Blue Diamond.

Mr. Smiley swallows, feeling very small.

"Yeah, you're not too short to ride," he replies, "But..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, they could probably shapeshift themselves smaller, but this is funnier.


	114. Vote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Amethyst have an important message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VOTE.

**Vote**

Hello everybody, I'm Pearl. I'm here to tell you how important it is that all of you humans go out today and vote.

_Unless you ain't American._

I- ...yes, thank you Amethyst. It's critical that you excercise your democratic voice. After all, many people have died so that you could do so.

_Heck yeah they did! Hey, P, you remember that one guy at Camden who got hit by that cannonball? I mean whoa, that was-_

Not appropriate, Amethyst. So, get down to your nearest polling place and cast your vote.

_If you don't, imma getcha._

It's true, she will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VOTE GUYS
> 
> AM I BEING SUBTLE ENOUGH HERE


	115. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ship lands in Beach City.

**Return**

It had been ten years since Pink Diamond's ship left for Homeworld.

Now, a new ship had crashed on the beach - it was a white sphere, almost featureless. The new Crystal Gems - Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis - had it surrounded, waiting nervously for something to happen. Behind them, the people of Beach City watched and waited.

Slowly, the hatch opened.

They stepped out, taking in the sea air. They were clad in a pink jumpsuit that exposed their gem, their hair done into a long ponytail.

"Stevonnie?" Greg stepped forward, eyes watering.

Stevonnie closed their eyes and breathed in.

"White's coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it feels like ten bleeding years


	116. The Mayor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanefua has retired.

**The Mayor**

When Nanefua retired, Beach City prepared itself for a recall election. They didn't expect much - probably Bill Dewey would try for his old job back, or maybe Buck would continue the family tradition.

That didn't happen, in the end.

As it happened, Marty rolled into town, running openly on a platform of using the town's coffers to support his extragent lifestyle. As a result, a hero rose to take him on, defeat him, and eventually become Beach City's greatest ever mayor...

"And that's how Garnet became Mayor!" finished Steven.

Garnet, dressed in a very nice suit, gave a thumbs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd vote for her.


	117. Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst asks Peridot a question.

**Frozen**

"Hey, Peri?"

"Yes, Amethyst?"

"Let's say you found out time was about to end, right? And you had five seconds to do whatever before time froze forever and you'd be stuck doing the last thing you were doing. What would you do?"

"That's highly scientifically improbable..."

"Humour me, 'Dot."

"Hmm... well, I guess I'd spent my last five seconds on something important, like... like... I dunno, maybe I'd hug you, 'cause if I'm eternally frozen with you, maybe... maybe that'd be okay."

"Aw, that's really sweet, Peridot."

"Wow, thanks. So what would you do?"

"Probably just moon Pearl or something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love some classic Amedot.


	118. Unidentified Flying Advertisement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis finds something in a magazine.

**Unidentified Flying Advertisement**

"Steven!"

Lapis burst into the Beach House, holding up an old magazine.

"Lapis, what is it?" asked Steven, racing up to her.

"I found this!"

Lapis showed him an old ad for a model space ship, marked 'REAL UFO!'

"The Crystal Gems need ships, right?" she asked, "Well, this one's got flashing lights and _real plasma ray action!_ And if we order it before January 1962, we can get it for fifty cents!"

"Lapis," said Steven, "That's a _toy_. And the offer expired fifty years ago."

"Oh."

Steven smiled, putting a hand on Lapis' shoulder.

"It's the thought that counts."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things were so cheap in the Sixties, but you also had a chance of being packed off to Vietnam, so I guess that evens things out.


	119. The Somme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11/11/18.

**The Somme**

There was a time, for about a decade or two, when Rose's occasional paramours ended. Pearl, naturally, was over the moon - until one day, by chance, she accompanied Rose on a trip through the warp pad.

She found herself in a field. In front of her were rows and rows of pristine white headstones, each engraved with a name, a rank and a short epitaph. Each was marked with the same date and the same unit; 11th Bat., East Lancashires, 1 July 1916.

The only sound was the birds and wind, but Pearl swore she heard the echoes of shells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We were able to see our comrades move forward in an attempt to cross No Man's Land, only to be mown down like meadow grass. I felt sick at the sight of the carnage and remember weeping."


	120. Regulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl finds a new student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins Crossover Week!

**Regulations**

"Pearl? Remember that class trip that came to Beach City last week?"  
  
"Why yes!" Pearl nodded, pacing in the kitchen as she spoke on her phone, "Especially that nice young lady; she reminded me a little of you, Connie..."  
  
"Yeah," Connie replied, "That's the problem. Um... their principal's here..."  
  
Pearl heard an unfamiliar voice on the other end.  
  
"Pearl, this is Principal Skinner. I'd like it if you stopped teaching Lisa how to use a sword."  
  
"Why?" asked Pearl, "What's the problem?"  
  
"Swords are against school regulations, and if my boss finds out-"  
  
Pearl heard a door fly open.  
  
"SKI _-NEEEER!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just give him some delicious steamed hams. That ought to placate him.


	121. The Customer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie recalls an old customer at the Big Donut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really a crossover, but I couldn't let today's unfortunate news pass unrecognised.

**The Customer**

An old man once visited the Big Donut, many months ago now.  
  
Sadie remembered him well - he looked familiar, but she couldn't quite place him. He was friendly enough, more than a little enthusiastic (which proved infectious even to Lars), and he was a good tipper besides. It wasn't until three days later, when she and Lars caught a movie, when she realised exactly who that old man had been.  
  
Today, she found herself sitting by the window, solemnly watching the rain, the news article still dimly visible on her phone.  
  
The world seemed just that little bit darker today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Stan Lee.


	122. Game of Gems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gems return from another world.

**Game of Gems**

Pearl stepped off the universal transporter, shaking her head.  
  
"I really don't see why they thought those white things were a problem," she asked aloud, "I mean, Opal made short work of that Winter King person."  
  
"Yeah," nodded Amethyst, "And that undead dragon thing? _Nothing_ on Alexandrite!"  
  
"Hey, Garnet, didn't they make you their queen?" asked Lapis.  
  
Garnet shrugged.  
  
"I didn't want it," she replied, "Throne looked uncomfortable, anyway."  
  
Behind the gems, Steven and Connie stepped off the machine, their faces white and their eyes haunted..  
  
"Let's never go to a medieval world again," said Connie flatly.  
  
"Agreed," said Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got to admit, I've never seen Game of Thrones. I've just seen recaps. Doesn't do much for me, to be honest.
> 
> My brother loves it, though, so let's say this is for him.


	123. The New Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new girl at Connie's school.

**The New Girl**

The new girl sat at a table by herself. Connie could hear the whispers from the other kids - she was an orphan, they said; maybe she'd been in the juvie. They sneered unkind assumptions behind her back.  
  
She shook her head and stood up.  
  
"I'm gonna go sit with the new girl," she declared.  
  
"Okay, cool," replied Peedee.  
  
"Have fun," nodded Jeff.  
  
Connie walked carefully over to the girl's table and sat down across from her. She looked up, raven hair low over her eyes.  
  
"Hi," said Connie, "I'm Connie!"  
  
The new girl smiled.  
  
"Dani," the girl replied, "Dani Fenton."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she's a phantom


	124. Brooding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis broods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. I fell asleep.

**Brooding**

Lapis sat at the bottom of the sea, brooding. She thought about her turbulent life - her long, painful, violent fusion with Jasper, her imprisonment in the mirror, her guilt over taking the barn. Truly, this emotional burden was-

"Hi Lapis, wanna go jellyfishing?"

Lapis opened her eyes, regarding the ernest sponge with his enormous glasses, net in his hand. He was grinning broadly, the spark of innocence in his blue eyes, and Lapis couldn't help but smile back. Her dark melancholy instantly evaporated like a vapour on the wind.

"Aw, Spongebob," she said, "How can I stay broody around you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Didn't Hark a Vagrant make this exact joke~~ no


	125. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst gets lost. Dipper finds a rock. It's all connected.

**Lost and Found**

Dipper Pines marched into the shack, holding up the object he'd found.  
  
"Great Uncle Ford, I found a magic rock in the forest!" he exclaimed.  
  
Ford walked over, glancing at the purple rock in his hands. He pursed his lips.  
  
"Dipper," he said, "You need to return that. _Very quickly._ "  
  
"Return it?" quizzed Dipper, "To who?"  
  
With a thunderous crash, the gift shop wall vanished. The tall maroon lady pelted towards Stan, grabbing him by the collar and pushing him against the wall.  
  
"Where. Is. Amethyst?!" she growled.  
  
"Ford, Dipper, for the record, I blame you for this!" Stan screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Stan.


	126. Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There have been some strange phone calls at the Temple.

**Phone Calls**

"There have been some very strange people in the phone bill this week," mused Pearl, looking over the bills.  
  
"Like?" asked Amethyst.  
  
"Well, we've got calls from the Mystery Shack, Fenton Works, somebody named KO..."  
  
"That was me," said Garnet, "He's my son now."  
  
"O... kay," continued Pearl, "But what about Mystery Inc? The Candy Kingdom? Fairy World, Retroville in Texas, Bikini Bottom, the Swollen Eyeball Network, the _Republic of Arstotzka?_ Who's calling all these people?!"  
  
"...and that's why Pierrcy is superior. Thank you for your time, Commander Shepard."  
  
Peridot stepped into the room, holding the phone.  
  
"...what?" she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another week bites the dust!


	127. Vigil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pink boy stood alone.

**The Vigil**

The pink boy had stood guard on the hill for generations, even as the world moved on. Lacey Pizza saw him every day as she walked home.   
  
There were others like him, the historians said - long, long ago. A boy, a girl and a group of powerful warriors. But they had left for the stars long ago - why had he remained?  
  
Sometimes Lacey saw ships, lions, a man and woman, a single tall person - but he never left with them. He always stayed, standing by a weathered stone.  
  
And on that stone she saw a name - _here lies Sadie Miller._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like a nice bit of angst. :D


	128. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bismuth and Greg ponder the fate of their family.

**Back Home**

Bismuth and Greg sat on the couch, the latter holding a mug of coffee. It was quiet at the temple, what with Steven, Connie and the Gems on Homeworld and Lapis and Peridot poofed. If Greg didn't come around occasionally, Bismuth would probably have gone stir crazy by now.  
  
"So, Bismuth" mused Greg, "Do you reckon they're okay up there?"  
  
They were not to know, of course, that Steven had been separated from his family and forced into Pink's outfit, or that everyone but Connie was under threat of falling under White's mental domination.  
  
"Yeah," Bismuth shrugged, "They're probably fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna hold on to my 'none of the Diamonds' powers affect humans' headcanon until it is explicitly proven wrong. :P
> 
> So, we've got two more themed weeks - next week and the week before Legs airs (I know we've already seen it, but I'm counting that as a TV airing anyway) - and I'm thinking about what to do for them. I'm open for suggestions. I do sort of want to do another Connverse week (I think we've done one before) but what do you guys think?


	129. Spess Goes to the Big Donut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spess goes to... well, you read the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deploying fluff!

**Spess Goes to the Big Donut**

Spessartite Garnet walked into the Big Donut, Garnet just behind her. She smiled as the other fusion's eyes lit up at the new smells within the shop.  
  
"Oh, hello Garnet!" said Dewey, walking up to the register, "Uh... other Garnet. What can I get you?"  
  
"I'm fine," replied Garnet, "I'm just here to show Spess around - Steven told me we _had_ to stop here first."  
  
She grinned as Dewey nervously scratched his head.  
  
"Oh, uh, did he? I- good, good!" he replied, "So... uh... what would you like, Spess?"  
  
Spess stepped forward, stars in her eyes.  
  
"I wanna try everything!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm thinking we'll do Sadie Week and Connverse Week, in that order. How's that sound?


	130. The Turkey Liberation Front

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven starts a movement.

**The Turkey Liberation Front**

Pearl stepped into the Beach House and immediately almost tripped on a turkey. She looked on, utterly aghast, at the massive flock that now scampered across the floor, gobbling frantically.  
  
"What is going on?" she demanded.  
  
In the centre of the room, Steven, Connie, Amethyst and Peridot were clad in camo paint and bandanas.  
  
"We're the Turkey Liberation Front!" shouted Steven.  
  
"Save the turkeys!" bellowed Connie.  
  
"Did... where did you get these turkeys?!" exclaimed Pearl.  
  
"Stole 'em from the town Thanksgiving dinner," shrugged Amethyst, "Speaking of, you may wanna hunker down."  
  
Pearl sighed as she heard the distant angry mob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's no Thanksgiving in Steven Universe, but it's funny, 'aight?


	131. Old VS New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis remembers Homeworld. (A Marooned Together omake.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. The site was down, so I went and played video games and suddenly two hours had passed.

**Old VS New**

"Hey Lapis?" asked Stevonnie.  
  
"Mhm?"  
  
"What was Homeworld like when you lived there?"  
  
Lapis sat up on the beach, thinking for a moment.  
  
"Different," she replied, "Everything I knew is just... gone."  
  
"Was it all on the surface?" asked Stevonnie.  
  
"No, it was... we'd still built over the really old stuff on the surface," replied Lapis, "But the sky was different - it was blue, like here - and there wasn't as much White Diamond stuff everywhere. It was just... different."  
  
"Different bad?"  
  
"Yeah, but... I don't think the old was that great either," Lapis replied.  
  
She lay back.  
  
"I prefer this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the uninitated, Marooned Together is set roughly ten years in the future (well, twenty at the point I'm up to, time's progressed) and is about Lapis and Stevonnie being marooned on a distant planet together after the Diamonds destroyed the Earth. You know, uplifting stuff.


	132. Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Promo spoilers)
> 
> Yellow Pearl learns what fun is.

**Fun**

Yellow Pearl sat down in front of Connie's laptop, carefully putting her fingers on the keys. She didn't trust this strange, primitive contraption, but apparently it could help teach her what 'fun' was.

She moved the 'mouse' over to the games folder and selected the first one that caught her eye.

"Hmm," she said, "I don't see 'fun' yet..."

Despite this, she began to play...

_SIX HOURS LATER..._

"Has she learned what fun is?" asked Steven.

"Um... in a way," replied Connie, "She's enjoying herself, but... ah..."

She pointed to Yellow Pearl and shrugged.

"Now she thinks 'fun' means 'Tetris.'"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was either this or the Fun Song, and I didn't have the word count for that. XD


	133. Marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie is waiting.

**Marks**

Connie sighed as she checked the website again.  
  
"Still nothing," she said, putting the laptop down on Steven's coffee table, "Why can't they just release my marks and get it over with?"  
  
Steven sat down beside her.  
  
"I'm sure you've passed," he said.  
  
"But what if I didn't?" demanded Connie, "What if I missed something on that algebra test, or if I got a date wrong in history, and then mom disowns me and I have..."  
  
"She won't disown you," assured Steven, "And no matter what happens..."  
  
He put a hand over her shoulder.  
  
"You get an A+ from me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But E3, it's not Connverse week yet-"
> 
> I CAN WRITE CONNVERSE WHENEVER I WANT.


	134. Time Warp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie is stuck.

**Time Warp**

Sadie guessed there were worse days to be stuck in an apparently infinite time loop.

It certainly wasn't a bad day at all - she spent the morning with Lars and then had a concert in the evening, except on the loops where she went 'off-script.' But after the hundredth time, it got - well, repetitive.

Every time she told the Gems about it, they couldn't come up with an answer. Well, she had plenty of time to work it out, she guessed.

But waking up every morning to _Time Warp_ on the radio 262 loops in a row?

 _That_ was grating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, clearly you're supposed to do something, Sadie. Just don't take as long to do it as Bill Murray, okay?


	135. Ugly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie doesn't like leaving Beach City.

**Ugly**

For most of her life, Sadie hadn't liked leaving Beach City. To do so was to invite the unsubtle whispers of passersby - she was _pudgy_ , they'd hiss, too _awkward_ , too _short_.

Taking on the persona of Sadie Killer was in many ways a liberation from that prejudice. On the stage, she was cool, she was edgy, she was a new sensation that people couldn't get enough of. She was admired, _accepted_.

And then the makeup would go off and she'd walk to the van, and hear the same old hisses and sneers.

She still didn't feel comfortable leaving Beach City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's definitely some ugly people in this one but Sadie isn't one of them.


	136. He Was Number One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie watches the sea.

**He Was Number One**

Sadie sat by the sea, staring out at the distant waves. The sun was setting, colouring both ocean and sky in a brilliant canvas of reds, oranges and blues - it was all so peaceful.

"So, you heard too, huh?"

Jenny sat down next to her, sighing as she did.

"Yeah," Sadie nodded, "I mean, it hurts, y'know? He just had such a huge influence on us, he was... I dunno..."

Jenny smiled.

" _He was Number One,_ " she replied.

They chuckled - it was a bittersweet feeling.

"I still can't believe he's gone," muttered Jenny.

Sadie shook her head.

"Maybe not completely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So long and thanks for all the fish, Stephen.


	137. Classic Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie shows the Off-Colors an old movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But E3, World War II didn't happen in-"
> 
> I have altered the canon. Pray I do not alter it any more.

**Classic Movies**

_"...I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship..."_

The film came to an end, and Sadie glanced over to the Off-Colors. Rhodonite was tearing up, the Rutiles looked pensive, Fluorite was clearly moved and Padparadscha was sitting serenely on the bed.

"So he gave her up," said Left-Rutile, "For... love?"

"No," replied Right-Rutile, "For freedom."

"For both, I think," said Sadie, "He saved the woman he loves, and he's helping the Allies. I think he realised the world's a lot bigger than him."

There was a brief silence.

"Rick's going to elope with the Captain!" exclaimed Padparadscha suddenly.


	138. A Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was a hero, but Sadie's not celebrating his deeds.

**A Hero**

Sadie's told he died a hero.

She's told he defended the Crystal Gems, flying the _Sun Incinerator_ alone, until they were off Homeworld; that he was at last captured, and drained of life and essence by White Diamond until he was nothing but a shell; a chalk-white, smiling corpse. His body moved, but he was gone forever.

Everyone sings his praises as they mourn, but Sadie can't bring herself to join in. She didn't want this hero Lars, memorialised with statue and song and glory. She didn't want him to 'redeem' himself in space.

She wants her Player One back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But the main thing is, Padparadscha is okay.


	139. Dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something follows Sadie's girlfriend home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't care if I'm the only person who does it, I'm shipping Sadiedot. XD

**Dog**

"Sadie!" exclaimed Peridot, "What is this _infuriating_ human contraption and why has it followed me home?"

Sadie walked to the door. Peridot was huddled on top of the mailbox, a small, happy-looking shih-tzu yapping up at her. Carefully, Sadie approached, kneeling to look at her.

"It's a dog," she said, "I wonder if she's got a collar..."

"A dog?"

Peridot snapped her fingers.

"Oh! Like Pumpkin!"

Sadie frowned - she couldn't find a collar.

"I think it's a stray," she said, "But it really seems to like you."

"Then we'll keep her!" exclaimed Peridot, "Won't we... _Peridot Junior?_ "

"...never change, Peri."


	140. The Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie finds an old watch.

**The Watch**

"Hey, what's this?"  
  
Sadie pulled the little pocket watch out of her bottom drawer, where it had sat underneath some old socks. They were cleaning some stuff out to make space for band costumes.  
  
"It looks old," mused Steven.  
  
"It looks awesome," declared Connie.  
  
"I think I remember this," said Sadie, "I think I got it for my fifth birthday. Something feels weird about it..."  
  
"Well, open it up!" urged Connie.  
  
Sadie stared - she couldn't help but feel a strange, whispering presence within.  
  
Oh well; nothing ventured, nothing gained.  
  
She flipped it open, and the yellow-orange light filled her vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Obligitory music.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRE1aOogdPI)


	141. The City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevonnie wakes up in an unfamiliar place.

**The City**

Stevonnie shook their head and climbed to their feet.  
  
They were in a crowded square in a huge city, vibrant billboards all around them. Was this Empire City? How had they turned up there? Everything was loud and disorientating, and they felt incredibly lost.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Stevonnie turned around. A young woman was giving them a thumbs up.  
  
"Nice cosplay!" she said, "Looks real convincing!"  
  
"Uh... thanks?" Stevonnie replied.  
  
The woman beamed.  
  
" _No prob, Bob!_ "  
  
She wandered away, and Stevonnie could see a stand selling shirts behind where she had been standing, each displaying the same slogan.  
  
"I love... _New York?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They ain't in Kansas anymore.


	142. Keep Beach City Apple-Friendly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronaldo's blog is deleted.

**Keep Beach City Apple-Friendly**

"Peedee!"  
  
Ronaldo burst into Peedee's room, clutching his hair as he danced anxiously in place. Peedee turned, frowning.  
  
"Uh, you okay, Ronaldo?" he asked.  
  
"They've finally done it!" exclaimed Ronaldo, "They deleted Keep Beach City Weird!"  
  
"What, they did?" quizzed Peedee, "What for?"  
  
"They want to suppress the truth, Peedee!" cried Ronaldo, "Look at the email they sent me!"  
  
Peedee took Ronaldo's phone and studied it.  
  
"It says here you got banned for... offensive content?" he said, "Something about... female-presenting nipples?"  
  
"It was a picture of Mothra!" exclaimed Ronaldo, "It has to be a conspiracy!"  
  
"...or they could be dumb."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny cause it's incompetent.


	143. Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven will be okay.

**Okay**

_"Steven will be okay."_  
  
Garnet's words echo in Greg's mind as he looks over the battered ship on the beach.  
  
He watches Steven limping out in that strange pink outfit, Connie's arm over his shoulder. They're both a little battered, but they seem alright. He waits for the others to come out - he sees a demure blue Pearl - Blue Diamond's, right? - but no other gems.  
  
Next to him, he hears Bismuth catch her breath. There's a whispered ask - "Where's everyone else?"  
  
Steven looks at her, his expression forlorn.  
  
Garnet's words echo in Greg's head once again.  
  
 _" Steven will be okay."_


	144. Nothing Has Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie have gone to the past, but in the present all seems well.

**Nothing Has Changed**

"So we accidentally sent Steven and Connie back in time," admitted Amethyst.  
  
Pearl frowned.  
  
"Okay, this is bad, but... nothing's changed," she said, "And as long as nothing cha-"  
  
"-nges we know that they haven't changed history too much," finished Blue Pearl softly.  
  
"Pearl's right," added Garnet, "We can trust Steven and Connie."  
  
"But if they messed anything up," said Amethyst, her towering form tense, "It'd be in the past, so to us, it'd already have happened..."  
  
"...so we wouldn't notice," finished Peridot, exchanging a worried glance with the short, overcooked Lapis.  
  
Garnet blinked.  
  
"We need to tell Padparadscha Diamond."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was all worth it for the words 'Padparadscha Diamond.'


	145. Acrostic Poetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven writes some poems.

**Acrostic Poetry**

"What're you up to, Steven?" asked Pearl as she and Amethyst came out of the temple.  
  
"Acrostic Poems," replied Steven, "Jeff showed 'em to me. You make a poem out of the letters in people's names!"  
  
He lifted up his writing pad.  
  
"For example," he said, "Pretty Extraordinary Acrobatic Rebel Lady!"  
  
"Aw," Pearl blushed, "That's sweet."  
  
"What else you got, Ste-man?" asked Amethyst, sitting down next to him.  
  
"Cool Outstanding Neat N' Intelligent, Excellent! Lovable And Pretty Individual, Seriously! Seriously Awesome Delightful Insightful Etc.! Great Awesome Ruby N' Sapphire Team!"  
  
"...that's _Garnst_ , dude."  
  
"Yeah, I couldn't make the 'e' work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garnst is my favourite Crystal Jim.


	146. Opalnet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opal and Garnet sit on the beach together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Swordaperson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordaperson/pseuds/Swordaperson) introduced me to this ship. It's good stuff.

**Opalnet**

Garnet isn't used to being the short one (at least not whole fused), but she doesn't especially mind it. Opal's form is tall, imposing and extremely potent in battle. More importantly, she gives excellent hugs.

She feels the four arms wrapped around her as she watches Steven and Connie play on the beach. They're sitting against the van - Opal's head pokes just a little above the roof. One arm moves, gently rubbing her hair - Garnet remembers Connie calling this 'stimming.'

"We need to do this more often," Opal purrs, gently kissing the top of Garnet's head.

Garnet grins.

"We do."


	147. Organics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why not spare organics?

**Organics**

"Why not spare organics?" somebody might have asked White Diamond, were they not so deathly afraid of her.  
  
Most organic lifeforms had no chance of matching the power of White's empire. The number of civilisations that made it to industrial levels of development could be counted on one hand. They posed no threat - surely they could just be ignored.  
  
"Yes," White might reply (before eviscerating the questioner), "But it's a matter of _control_."  
  
White could not see into the mind of an organic, nor control their actions. They acted outside her perfectly organised system.  
  
For that, they must be punished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow; Connverse week!


	148. The Visor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie find Garnet's visor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONNVERSE WEEK ALRIGHT LETS GO!!!

**The Visor**

"Hey, Garnet left her visor on the table."  
  
Cautiously, Connie picked up the visor, looking it over. Steven moved closer to her, looking closely at the eyewear - he furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"We should find her and give it back," he suggested.  
  
"Yeah," nodded Connie, "We should... but what if..."  
  
They looked at each other and grinned.  
  
One quick fusion later, Stevonnie held the visor in their hands. They grinned and slowly put it on.  
  
" _Whoa_..."  
  
Slowly, they waved their hand in front of their face, jaw dropping slightly.  
  
"I... can see... _absolutely nothing_ , how does Garnet see with this on?"


	149. The Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven's changed sides.

**The Betrayal**

"Steven, how could you?" exclaimed Connie, hanging desperately from the ledge.  
  
Steven smiled, the expression sinister, as he stepped forward.  
  
"I'm sorry Connie," he replied, "But I've seen the light now. I have a new master now... and _I don't need you._ "  
  
"Steven, please! Look into my eyes! Remember who you were!"  
  
Steven laughed as he reached Connie, preparing to step on her hand and force her to fall...  
  
...at which point Lion strode up to Connie and started nuzzling her, before lying down next to the bed.  
  
"Uh... oh no! It's a Kraken!" exclaimed Connie.  
  
They burst into giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I could never do this for real. :P


	150. Tale As Old As Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a beast in yonder castle.

**Tale As Old As Time**

There was a beast, they said, at yonder castle, and that she devoured all who trespassed on it.  
  
A traveler, Jamie, gesticulated wildly as he described the monster - eight feet tall, he cried, with razor sharp teeth and eyes like a demon. Most of those listening responded with utter dread.  
  
But when Steven heard the tale, he felt sorry for the monster, who was so hated and feared. And so he decided to visit the castle, and see if he could befriend her.  
  
And up in the castle, a beast named Connie wondered if anyone could ever break her curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh and kevin is gaston.


	151. Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doug and Priyanka talk on the phone.

**Marriage**

"Doug," said Priyanka, pacing in her office, "Just because they're _close_ doesn't mean they're going to get _married_. Let's not push our own expectations on those kids..."

" _But Priya, I just found a drawing of them getting married in Connie's room,_ " replied Doug, " _And Greg told me he overheard Steven singing about how pretty Connie is to him..._ "

"Sure, its puppy love," Priyanka shrugged, "But it doesn't mean..."

" _Garnet compared them to Ruby and Sapphire._ "

There was a long silence.

"Oh my god, they're going to get _married_ ," said Priyanka, "Doug, do we need to set up a wedding fund?"


	152. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a hopeless romantic.

**Destiny**

They're nearly always together - in each reality they differ slightly, but the result is the same.

Steven and Connie. Nora and Connor. Steven and Connor. Nora and Connie. Son of Blue Diamond, Daughter of Yellow. Children of humans and Quartzes and Citrines and Jaspers. Merged souls born as Stevonnie with enormous capacity for self-love. Born at the dawn of time or in the 1900s or the far future.

It never seems to matter - they gravitate to each other. Very few such perfect matches exist - Ruby and Sapphire immediately come to mind - where in all universes they intertwine.

Perhaps it's destiny.


	153. A Generation Later...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fifty years have passed.

**A Generation Later...**

It's been fifty years, and the Crystal Gems have changed.

Garnet still leads, certainly, but she finds herself free to share her responsibilities with Stevonnie. The other fusion has served as a go-bridge between human and gem worlds for decades, helped by the sage advise of Bismuth and an aging Greg. They help Moonstone train a new generation of swordfighters from the Fryman and Pizza families. They kick back and relax with Jade (the fusion of Amethyst and Peridot.) They help everyone wherever they can.

That's why humans and free gems alike believe in Garnet, Bismuth, Moonstone, Jade and Stevonnie.


	154. The Blob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Stevonnie blob consumes all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a normal, everyday one hundred words. Perfectly normal. Nothing weird at all.

**The Blob**

The Stevonnie blob rolled ever onwards. Every house, tree, animal and person they rolled over was instantly absorbed, and soon emerged as their own little Stevonnie blob, rolling off in another direction.

The gems stood in their path, watching in awe.

"I blame you for this," said Pearl, glaring at Peridot.

"That's fair," nodded Peridot.

"Can we stop this?" asked Amethyst.

Garnet paused.

"No," she replied, shrugging, "All will be consumed."

"Oh."

They watched the wave of blobby Stevonnies roll ever closer.

"Well," Amethyst shrugged, "There are worse apocalypses."

And so it continued, until all became one glorious Stevonnie blob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame discord for this.
> 
> EDIT: Oh, forgot to announce this! I've decided to extend this until Familiar airs on the 24th. Tomorrow will be another Connverse story, as I feel it'd be best to end the week on a less... bizarre note (XD).


	155. Commitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie reaffirm their friendship.

**Commitment**

Connie wasn't listening to what Garnet was saying - she was staring at the person in front of her.

Steven Quartz Universe - she had known him for so long now. Who would have thought losing a simple glow bracelet would have changed her life so completely. They had been through so much - she'd taken up the sword, he'd come to terms with his mother's legacy, they'd been the same person - _repeatedly!_ They were joined at the hip in the most real fashion - today was simply a formality.

She smiled as Garnet finished, tears building as she said two words.

"I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And by friendship I mean undying love.
> 
> Well, that's Connverse Week (eight days this time!) Now we're on the home stretch!


	156. Soaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Amethyst watch a soap opera.

**Soaps**

"I'm pregnant... and you're the father!"  
  
"Oh, didn't see that coming," muttered Amethyst as the episode of the trashy soap opera ended.  
  
Peridot looked up (she was sitting on Amethyst's lap) with a quizzical expression.  
  
"That's the fourth episode where a character has announced they're 'pregnant' in a row," she said, "Why do humans still think this twist is shocking?"  
  
"'Cause they think their viewers are goldfish," shrugged Amethyst, "I mean, who would possibly be shocked..."  
  
She trailed off, grinning.  
  
"I've got an awesome prank..."

_And so..._

  
"I'm pregnant, and you're the father," said Amethyst.  
  
Greg choked and passed out.


	157. The Tags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot finds some unusual tags on her favourite fanfic site.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be borderline NSFW, but only borderline.

**The Tags**

"There's some new fics on Aye O'Three," said Peridot, "And I don't understand them."  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Lapis, leaning over Peridot's tablet.  
  
"Well, the Pierrcy tag's got a lot of... funny words?" replied Peridot, "And they all start with En Eff Ess Double-You..."  
  
"Oh, uh, Peri, you may not wanna open those," said Amethyst.  
  
"Why not?" demanded Peridot, "By the looks of it, they're just using stationary. Cutting some things with scissors..."  
  
"That's not what that word means," warned Amethyst.  
  
"Click it," said Lapis, "I wanna see..."  
  
"Lapis, it means-"  
  
"I know what it means, I wanna see."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cut to Lapis and Amethyst reading all the smut fics while Peridot just doesn't get it.


	158. A Watchful Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly Blue likes to think she runs a right ship.

**A Watchful Eye**

Holly Blue Agate liked to believe that she was on top of things - that she knew of everything that happened in her Zoo, and that nothing untoward could possibly occur.  
  
The Famethyst knew that she was fooling herself. After all, she still hadn't noticed the little crawl spaces they used to walk between pens after hours, or the occasional excursion into the zoo to hang out with the humans.  
  
She also didn't know about the little communicator one of the Peridot's had helped them build, with which they discreetly chatted with 8XM.  
  
Nope - Holly Blue was completely and totally _blind_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Famethyst for life. :)


	159. The Falcon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie learn about a gem's past alter-ego.

**The Falcon**

****"Uh, does anyone know why there's a car in Pearl's room?"  
  
Steven and Connie emerged from the Temple, looking perplexed. Pearl sat on the couch, clapping her hands together.  
  
"Oh, you found that old girl!" she replied, "There used to be automobile races around Delmarva in the 1930s, and I decided to enter them. They called me the Falcon of Beach City."  
  
Connie's eyes widened.  
  
"The Falcon?!" she gasped, "We learned about her in history! Nobody ever knew her name! That was you?!"  
  
"Well, sit down children," replied Pearl, grinning, "Let me tell you the true story of the Falcon..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Did Amethyst do anything like this?"  
> "No, but she blew up the Hindenburg."


	160. Everything She Ever Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Pink turn on them?

**Everything She Ever Wanted**

"I don't understand."  
  
Blue Diamond looks mournfully down at Pink's Pearl, trying to comprehend where she went wrong.  
  
"We gave her everything," she says, "We loved her! She was our entire universe - we even gave her the _colony_ , even after Yellow advised that it was a bad idea. I would have done _anything_ for her!"  
  
Tears begin to stream down her face, echoed on the tiny Pearl before her. Despite that, her face remains defiant.  
  
"Why would she think we didn't care?"  
  
Pearl's voice is firm, even venomous.  
  
"You gave her everything she ever wanted," she says, "Except your _respect_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buuu-uuuurn


	161. Scrooge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gems teach Peridot a lesson.

**Scrooge**

"I don't get it," said Pearl, carrying a sleeping Peridot into Rose's Room, "Surely she's just allowed to not like the holidays..."

"It's the principle," replied Garnet, putting on the hooded cloak.

"But do we have to do this everytime someone's a bit of a Scrooge?"

Bismuth and Connie, both dressed as ghosts, shrugged.

"It's fun," said Bismuth.

"Okay, places everyone," called Steven as the room became the Barn, "Bring up Marley!"

Lapis walked up, dressed in fake chains.

"Surely doing this to Lars was enough..." mused Pearl.

"Nope," said Connie, "And we've got Kevin lined up for next year."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day mooooore...


	162. Whatever Happens Next...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven isn't ready, but he's not alone.

**Whatever Happens Next...**

Steven fidgeted at the gloves on his Pink Diamond outfit. If he was honest, he didn't quite know how he felt wearing it - his thoughts were complicated, and probably worth a 'dad talk' when he got home.  
  
If he got home...  
  
No, _when_ he got home. They were going to do this.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
Steven turned to Connie and nodded nervously. He wasn't, and she clearly knew it, but he could do this. _He could do this._  
  
"Just nervous," he replied.  
  
Connie smiled and took his hand - her own was shaking too.  
  
"Whatever happens," she said, "We'll face it _together_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly expected to be doing this for ten weeks at most. Instead, it is the longest 100 Words A Day so far. And yet, it also the most satisfying to me. I think we've explored a lot of fun and interesting ideas, and it's been a blast to see how you all react every day. Honestly, that's the main reason I do this.
> 
> Alas, all good things must come to an end, and perhaps appropriately given what day it is, to tie a bow across 100 Words A Day IV. I would like to thank everyone for all of your support - your reviews make all of this worth it. I cannot possibly thank you enough.
> 
> But yeah, it's time for the real show to come back. I'm sure we're all pretty hyped. And hopefully, it'll create a good well of ideas for 100 Words A Day V...
> 
> I'll see you in January. :)


End file.
